Mediation Setting

What does a typical mediation look like? Do you have to be in the same room with your spouse or soon to be ex? Does the attorney have to be present? Who speaks and communicates for you? Please give me a picture of what this might look like so I can be prepared.

In a family law mediation in NC (as opposed to the court ordered custody mediations) the parties are in separate rooms throughout the day. You and your lawyer are in one room and your spouse and his/her lawyer are in another room, and the mediator goes back and forth between the rooms. Depending on the jurisdiction, some mediators do introductions with both parties and their attorneys in the same room before breaking out into separate rooms, while some mediators do the introductions separately.

Your attorney is present with you the entire time, but you will generally do most of the talking. You will explain to the mediator your version of events and your position on contested issues (with the help of your lawyer). You and your spouse make all the decisions in mediation. Your lawyer is there to give you legal advice, draft agreements, and make sure you are making the best decisions. The mediator will help bring you and your spouse to an agreement on all issues.

If you have an attorney representing you in your case, you should ensure that attorney is with you at the mediation.


Anna Ayscue

Attorney with Rosen Law Firm Cary • Chapel Hill • Durham • Raleigh

Rosen Online | Unlimited confidential access to a North Carolina attorney for $199/mo - click here

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service only, a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action. The information posted on this forum is available for public viewing and is not intended to create an attorney client relationship with any individual. These answers are provided for informational purposes only, a person should consult with their own individual legal counsel before taking any action that could affect their legal rights or obligations.

I think mine is court required mediation.
How will this change things?

If it’s court ordered custody mediation, the major difference is that your attorney is not present with you. The mediation is conducted by your county’s custody mediation office. Depending on the mediator, you may or may not be in the same room as your spouse during the mediation.

You will attend a custody mediation orientation session first (usually consists of a video explaining the mediation and its importance) and you will then schedule the actual mediation for a later date.


Anna Ayscue

Attorney with Rosen Law Firm Cary • Chapel Hill • Durham • Raleigh

Rosen Online | Unlimited confidential access to a North Carolina attorney for $199/mo - click here

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service only, a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action. The information posted on this forum is available for public viewing and is not intended to create an attorney client relationship with any individual. These answers are provided for informational purposes only, a person should consult with their own individual legal counsel before taking any action that could affect their legal rights or obligations.

Thank you. Can I request to be in a separate room from him?

You can request that, but it will be up to the custody mediator to allow or deny that.


Anna Ayscue

Attorney with Rosen Law Firm Cary • Chapel Hill • Durham • Raleigh

Rosen Online | Unlimited confidential access to a North Carolina attorney for $199/mo - click here

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service only, a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action. The information posted on this forum is available for public viewing and is not intended to create an attorney client relationship with any individual. These answers are provided for informational purposes only, a person should consult with their own individual legal counsel before taking any action that could affect their legal rights or obligations.