My husband and I along with one of my stepsons play WoW. It is very addictive, but there can be a balance if that is what you enjoy doing.
There could be several reasons that your wife is doing this but she would have to tell you her own reasons. And I can tell you that like any addiction, you are not going to understand it, fix it, or stop it.
I used the game, while with my ex, as an escape from my reality of a bad relationship. My husband, when he was with his ex, used it to avoid her. My ex used it to enhance his drug use…my brother-in-law used it to meet “people”. My best friend’s husband played almost 8 hrs a day during the week. I think that when he stopped playing he had over one year game time involved.
EDIT: I am in no way saying these reasons are the same as any your wife has, nor am I making excuses for my own actions. There were considerable issues with my ex and I did not help any of those by running away from them. That’s just how things were.
Now when we play, it’s “play” time. It’s our time to not be serious or to have to worry about “real issues” at least for a little while. It does not rule our lives. We play together. There are days that we do not play at all and there are days that we do nothing but play. This is after many years of watching how an addiction like this can ruin lives and coming to terms with the fact that it is an addiction, like any other. I never thought of it that way before though I saw it it destroy several families. I just thought of it as a game, and what harm can it be doing if I’m playing a game? I’m not out at bars, and I’m not hurting anyone so what difference should it make. But I didn’t realize that time flies by when you are on a game. You sit down for just an hour and the next thing you know…it’s 3 hours later.
I do not know what to tell you about how to seek help or what to do to get your wife back…it sounds like you have tried.
Maybe there are support groups out there that could help you. Maybe you should ask her to set a time limit on her playing…maybe you should let her know much it is affecting all your lives. Have the internet connection closed for a time…
Has your wife gave you any reason for her continue to play after repeated attempts to get her to limit it? Has she given any reason why she doesn’t want to pay attention to her marriage or children and instead chooses to sink herself into an alternate reality?