Adutery vs custody


P.S. Also STBX left the state of NC at the beginning of July 2008. He moved to IL and has lived there this whole time. I still remain in NC with the children. He lives with his Grandmother and has no job.


While there are no guarantees in life, I do not think you will lose your son. Despite making what you now believe to be an error in judgment you are not a bad mother, and from the facts you list you should have no trouble presenting that in court.
Your ex has voluntarily moved away and failed to remain a constant in your son


I will try to keep this as short as i can. Sorry in advance.

My STBX and I, got seperated back at the beginning of 2007. I kicked him out of the house for being unfaithful to our marriage and myself. He was telling girls he wasn’t married, had no children, etc. He even let his step children run the streets when I wasn’t home. Gosh many times I had to deal with the police/DSS.

Well I got close to a good friend of mine. Yes we did the deed. Do I regret it yes. Two wrongs don’t make a right! Well my STBX and I, talked and we got back together. Not knowing I was pgnt at all due to being on birth control and not feeling any of the pregnancy sickness, etc. Nothing really crossed my mind. My oldest son kept telling me that i was pgnt and i would tell him no. One day I found out I was.

October 2007 I am in the hospital having my child. STBX is there through it all. I want to believe she is his, I want to believe that! Well time for Birth Certificate. STBX is determinded that his name is on it. He kept asking. I told him Yes. It is being done now. He wants to see it.

Time goes by, Feb 2008 find out that he is back to his old ways but this time he went back to it the day my daughter was born. What a crock of bull! Couldn’t believe it. This time he was out for good. I told him one more time and it was over and I had meant over!

My daughter is getting sick. Can’t figure out what is going on. Come to find out she is A+ and she has a blood disorder. How is this so when STBX and I are O+. Well facts come back and now i know that she is my old friend blood daughter. I tell the STBX. We are about 4 months out from the 1 yr mark. Not going to keep it a secret, not right.

All heck breaks out. He love’s her and wants her but wants the DNA done because his mother doesn’t want her in his life. He doesn’t want to take care of her because 1 child is good enough for him. (out 2 yr old son). So, now i have the proof that he is going to use my daughter against me in the custody. I have had custody of our son since he left Feb 2008. He barely saw him. Went to court to do a temp order and STBX didn’t even keep those times to see the children. So, I let the STBX have them for Dec. He only take our son. Doesn’t want his daughter because of his mother. Anyhow,

Everyone tells me that I won’t lose custody of my son. He has 6 other siblins. My son is very close to my 14 month old. He even has a nick name for her. Do I have anything to be afraid of? STBX won’t settle on custody because STBX wants custody. I tell him No because i am not an unfit mother. STBX throws up that i am because I slept with another man. Please help me understand the laws on this type of stuff.

STBX wants DNA done, no problem on my part. I don’t mind at all. Will iit have me lose custody of my son?

Again sorry for it being long. Thank you.