Alienation of Affection


#1

2010 - 2011 I had an affair with another lady (referred to as mistress) who was a friend and co-worker. Overtime the mistress stated her desire to have a child via artificial insemination. I had no opinion but expressed the fact that I was not interested in being the donor or father. December 2011, I received an email from the mistress stating that she was pregnant, “unsure of how it happened,” but assured me that she wants nothing from me, does not to destroy my family, etc.

At the time of the affair my wife and I were NOT experiencing any issues. We were expecting our second child, enjoying the first and having the best times in years. During and after the affair, our intimate life was negatively impacted.

I had not spoken to the mistress since Jan 2011 until she contacted me (in anger) last week requesting financial assistance. I have already confessed my mistakes to my wife and we are going through counseling to save our family. I have NOT agreed to anything with the mistress and demanded a paternity test.

As I prepare to deal with a possible child support battle, I can’t help but feel that the mistress intentionally manipulated this situation to sever our marriage. A mutual co-worker has confided in me that on several occasions the mistress made comments to her that she, the mistress, could “steal me away” and “have me as her [future] baby’s father.” There were other comments as well.

Again, my wife and I are working through this but do we have any legal re-course against the mistress? Alienation of affection, criminal conversation? Anything???


#2

I disagree. If he and his wife plan on staying together, they should not divorce. Doing so would be fraud. Divorce requires living separate and apart with the INTENT to no longer continue to relationship.

The mistress has no claim against the wife and the only claim against the husband would be for child support of which only his income is used to calculate child support. Even if his wife could pursue AOA or CC, she would essentially blow thousands of dollars for nearly nothing unless the mistress was wealthy. I would never advocate any person pursue a lawsuit that is not only fruitless but also equally vindictive in nature. If they are truly working on their marriage I can’t imagine how an expensive lawsuit would really benefit their relationship.

The mistress has a child by him and has the right to support from the father regardless of circumstances.

Also – trying to liquidate or hide assets to protect yourself from lawsuits does not always work. Financial transactions that occur shortly before or immediately following an action could be brought up against you.


#3

[quote=“EndoftheLine”]I disagree. If he and his wife plan on staying together, they should not divorce. Doing so would be fraud. Divorce requires living separate and apart with the INTENT to no longer continue to relationship.

The mistress has no claim against the wife and the only claim against the husband would be for child support of which only his income is used to calculate child support. Even if his wife could pursue AOA or CC, she would essentially blow thousands of dollars for nearly nothing unless the mistress was wealthy. I would never advocate any person pursue a lawsuit that is not only fruitless but also equally vindictive in nature. If they are truly working on their marriage I can’t imagine how an expensive lawsuit would really benefit their relationship.

The mistress has a child by him and has the right to support from the father regardless of circumstances.

Also – trying to liquidate or hide assets to protect yourself from lawsuits does not always work. Financial transactions that occur shortly before or immediately following an action could be brought up against you.[/quote]

You bring up some good points…The only one I would argue is the statement of fraud. I don’t believe that Divorcing necessarily precludes anyone from maintaining a relationship with the person. Yes, that’s the way the laws are unfortunately biased, but I know cases of spouses divorcing for many legal reasons, not just the fact they don’t want to live/be with each other anymore. Is it morally right? Perhaps not, but is it fraud? I don’t think so.

Anyway, we’ve gone beyond being constructive for this particular poster. I took your points seriously, and I will try to refrain from injecting my personal bias into my responses. However, sometimes, the law isn’t so cut and dry as we’d like to think, and personal aspects of a situation can have bearing on a case…Just as a judge uses his/her own bias and life experiences when taking into account the totality of a custodial case or alimony case.


#4

Your wife would have a claim for criminal conversation. There is no claim for alienation of affection because there you did not leave your wife due to your affiar with the other woman.