Bed and Board Divorce

Dear Justtryingtosurvive:

I am sorry to hear about the diseases and illnesses it seems your family is currently suffering from. Yes, you can force him through the court to maintain you on his medical insurance with work. Best of luck.

Janet L. Fritts
Attorney with Rosen Divorce
4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.

I have a bed and board divorce after 23 years of marriage. I was
able to prove that ex was a drug and alcohol abuser, was negilient
to the children, failed to make any financial contribution to the
family even though employed, had abused my son and myself. He was
supposed to cover me on his insurance until the divorce was final, he
failed to do so. He is supposed to cover the children until they
graduated from college, after trying to get him to follow through
for three months, I was forced to contact his empoyer. He does have the minimum insurance on the kids. I thought I had myself covered through my employer for life, health, dread disease insurance, profit sharing, and dental. The emotional distress of
the divorce, the problems my ex caused in us trying to relocate
delaying of settement caused problems in closing 10 different times
over a three month period. Having to move out of a house that was
paid for and go in debt for 30 years at the age of 48. My mother
being diagnosed with ALS - Lou Gregh disease and finding out that
two of her four children will also die with this incurable disease as well as half of all her grandchildren, then my mother also being diagnosed with 3rd stages of cancer, my ex not helping out or supporting me through this difficult time, a lot of turnover in the office I was working (10 people in 3 mos) and caring for me Mom for
two years and then her passing away, my grandfather pasing away six
months after my Mom, and then her sister passing away also with ALS
within a year, the pressure at home and work causing me to become depressed and a little bitter. I lost my job during this time. I was not able to get employment for three months which caused me to
deplete my settlement. I have finally taken a new job which is much less stressful. However, I will not have any insurance benefits for at least one year. I do not have profit sharing. I am now making $3.25 a hour less. My question is how hard would it be to make my ex pay the insurance on me. He has no contact with the children or myself. He has been paying child support only for my youngest child age 15. The checks keep getting later every month and I have to contact his mother every month to get the check. I know I should have gone through the court. But for the childrens’ sake I had tried
to maintain a friendly relationship with their Dad. He has only seen
them twice in two years (both times initialed by the kids) and has not even called or sent a card for their birthday and even failed to not acknowledge the gift they gave him for Father’s Day. He refuses to pay anything even college expenses on the my oldest son age 19. Fortnately he was on a full scholarship, now on a Hope scholarship. I feel he will work harder and bring his grades back up to reinstate his scholarship. But that still leaves me with the repairs and maintenance on his car, car insurance, his clothing and basic needs. Also my youngest son will be going on my car insurance meaning it will triple due to him being an unexperienced driver. Needless to say my expenses have increased while my payscale has decreased. Right now neither one of us has paidfinal amount to finalized the divorce. I know there is no way we will ever be together again. He is still addicted to drugs and alcohol. My concern is that in addition to the ALS, my father as well as several other family members died with a stroke at 48, 51, 52. There is also a strong family history of heart attacks, and cancer. I am on medication for high blood pressure to try to prevent a stroke or heart atttack. I felt like before if I died at least the children would have my life insurance to pay off the house and they would at least still have a place to call home. My mother and father separated for a 1-l/2 got
back together and then he died 1-1/2 years later. Had my Mom divorced my Dad she would have lose the house and what life insurance
he had not a large amount but since her children had already moved out she was able live off that amount with two jobs for another 20
years before she passed away. My ex was the first and only man I have
been involved with. I am not involved with anyone now. His brother
died at at 41 with a heart attack after three weeks of trying to stop
drugs and alcohol use. His father had a heart attack at 55 but survive and is now[:(][?]in his late 70’s. I know my ex has been using
a variety of drugs and drinking alcohol most of his adult life. THere were signs of elevate liver enzymes over eight years ago. He
failed to go back to the doctor and did not make the changes he needed to improve his health. I am sure he also has high blood pressure that is not being treated. IF he should die of natural causes, would I receive any benefits since the way I understand we
are legally separated and cannot share the same house, but are not
divorce. Are their advantages to leaving things as they are or
are their any advantages to paying the fee to finalize the divorce.
I only have a high school education and have made huge errors in my
life that I feel will affect my childrens’ and my future financially.
There is no doubt in my mind, that us moving was the right thing to
do emotionally for all three of us. Financially, it was not the best
move. But the house was located on his family’s land, needed $20,000
in repairs, and he had violated the restraining order three times by
walking through the front door twice and riding up and down the road
and observing us from behind the house on his parents’ land. He was
only restrained from seeing me. He was given the right to see his
children at his parents house as long as he called ahead and his parents were present. He failed to make his attempts to make the
arrangements. The court mediator for visitation told me she felt
after interviewing the kids Dad that he could not be there for them
he was too far into the addictions and had never made the connection
he should have had with them. I am sorry this is so detailed but I
felt you would need background information to best answer my questions. [:(][?]