First, I don’t know how he can force you to sell the home if it is in your separation agreement that you are entitled to live there and have kept up the payments. Also, if you have sole custody you are entitled to claim the children and he cannot claim them unless you sign over the IRS document allowing him to do so - he knows that and that is why he is trying to use the house against you. Here’s what I would do though. Tell him that you will allow him to claim these two children for this year only if he pays for the refinancing of the house into your name. Closing costs and appraisal may $1000 or less but some of that can be rolled into the refi. It will be worth it to him for tax purposes. That way he can’t hold the house over you again. As far as the child support amounts. Either of you is entitled to go back every 3 yrs or sooner if circumstances have your support amount modified if you believe the amount would be 15% or more different than what it is currently.
I can’t refinance the house. My income is tiny compared to his and I was kind enough during our marriage to take all the debt unto myself and file for bankruptcy so that I didn’t take us both down. Stupid I know but at the time it was the smart thing to do.
he’s just trying to hurt me in every way possible and it’s going to effect my kids more than anything. He’s mentally ill so maybe that’s why he does what he does. I don’t think he has a prayer at changing anything (if anything my child support would probably go up since the guidelines just changed and when I did the numbers)but he’ll still try to cost me time, money, and aggravation. Thanks.
no, get him to pay for refi if he wants to claim the kids. As long as the interest rate benefits you, it will be better in the long run to have the house in your name alone. However, with having declared bankruptcy this may be difficult for you - don’t know until you ask though.
If you have been making the payments since 2005 then refinancing may still be an option. You can show that you have been making the payments so all it would be in reality is a change of name on mortgage. Check into it and find out first. Mal had a good idea about having him pay to refinance in exchange for filing the children. If you want to let him file the children you’ll have to sign that but if I were you I would draw up an agreement that he is only to file them for this year’s taxes 2006 and have it signed and notarized. If you don’t want to let him file them, because it will mean less money back for you, tell him that you need those deductions more than he does and then don’t worry about anything else unless you get served with court papers.
Your ex is trying to scare you with the rest of it. Yes, he could take you back to court if there’s a significant change to modify custody and separately child support. If there’s no changes in your life or the childrens lives then he really has no chance of getting custody changed since he agreed to it to start with. He would have to show why now he wants to share custody where before he didn’t want that. The child support could be modified, but as you said it may end up being more so he would need to be careful with that.
Good Luck!
only thing that’s changed is his girlfriend. go figure. Everything with the kids and us is almost exactly the same. thanks for making me feel better. I will just live by the current agreement and wait to get served my papers. i told him i would not give him what he wanted with threats and that’s still what I intend.
Hi worriedmom,
I read your articles. I wanted you to know that I am currently in a major court battle with my husband with regards to know other then our yes you guessed it our separtation agreement in which we used our investment attorney to draw it up and we signed it and had them notarized. He was really good for about 9 months and then wham he decided after I purchased a home for me and my 2 daughters he decided to take me back to court and try and get me for black mail and I think extorcian… Something crazy his big attorney came up with… I have been through 2 attorneys and now I am on number 3. All because when it gets time to go to trial against this crazy lady my husband has hired I really have to believe they all get freaked out or something… Hope it all works out for you… good luck and get a good attorney one who believes in your contract not just your checkbook!
Well hopefully your case works out. I hope that if the time comes for the court battle I can afford an attorney let a alone a good one! Thankfully my parents are willing to help me if needed. I just hope that he thinks about what he would be doing to his children.
Dear worriedmom:
Greetings. Does the separation agreement say that you have to refinance the home? If it does not, then you are not obligated to. He can try to take you to court for custody change, but probably will not get a change of the situation without a very good reason (his tax break is not one of them).
What about an amendment to the agreement that says that he could claim the children as long as he pays you what you would get in refund if you claimed the children? That way you both win.
Janet L. Fritts
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm
4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.256.1665 direct fax
301 McCullough Drive Suite 510
Charlotte, North Carolina 28262
704.644.2831 main voice
704.307.4595 main fax
1829 East Franklin Street, Bldg 600
Chapel Hill, NC 27514
919.321.0780 main phone
919.787.6668 main fax
The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.
It does not say i have to refinance the house. He thinks he can add that in now that he’s mad at me.
As for the taxes, he would never agree to pay me anything. I am entitled to EIC which means he would have to pay me a substantial amount. He did not have enough taxes withheld out of his check so he has to pay for last year. I should tell you that our incomes are DRAMATICALLY different. Mine for last year was 13,000 and his (I have to guess by 2005’s) was at LEAST 86,000. My mortgage is more, my utilities are more. I barely make it but I do my best and make sure the kids have what they need. Thats why I panic.
Thanks for the advice, I will continue to try to work these stuff out with him on our own. My goal has always been to keep the peace for the sake of the children but I can’t let him control every aspect of life anymore. Thanks!
Dear worriedmom:
If the agreement does not say that you have to refinance, then you do not need to. Make sure that you are making decisions that allow you to take care of yourself and the children, especially if he is not helping. Thank you.
Janet L. Fritts
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm
4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.256.1665 direct fax
301 McCullough Drive Suite 510
Charlotte, North Carolina 28262
704.644.2831 main voice
704.307.4595 main fax
1829 East Franklin Street, Bldg 600
Chapel Hill, NC 27514
919.321.0780 main phone
919.787.6668 main fax
The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.
my ex wants to claim two of my children because he didn’t have enough taxes withheld this year, just assumed i would allow it. We have a very large difference in income, i live below the poverty line he lives well above it. I haven’t decided yet but he’s now making threats that if i don’t allow him to take the deduction then he will force the sale of my house because i can’t afford to refinance it although i have made all the payments since we separated in 2005. He gave me the house in our separation agreement (that we did and notarized). I also have sole custody that he gave me in agreement and he is threatening to take me to court over that as well. Basically I want to know if he can take me to court to change all the basic things in the agreement (especially the house which puts his kdis on the the street) he also doesn’t like the child support amount now (surprise!) but he agreed to it at the time. Please someone advise me!