Can a man live with another woman and be married?

My husband abondoned our family 2 years ago. He was always a spend thrift and I was too busy trying to pay the bills and make sure we had a roof over our heads. When he left he said he was finally going to put himself first. I could hardly believe my ears. He ran away to an old camper on the lake that he had sold to someone else. While he was out there someone told him about a place for rent on the lake for $600.00 dollars which he couldn’t afford. He signed a years lease because we did not beg for him back. He did push me and hit me at times and hollar and rage. You never knew when he might do it. It was over simple things, not big things. Then two years ago he started getting angry with our daughter. She was 21 years old. He tried to take all her freedom away. He didn’t want the women to have a say so. Finally he told me it was either our daughter or him. I told him he was crazy. I was not throwing our daughter out. I did not tell him to leave. He has never treated me right for a long time. It was just the kids and now he does not speak to her. He told her recently when she demanded to know why he left and wanted the truth that he could not bare to see her grow up. I have no idea if that is the truth. We did fight. He came from a disfunctional family. He did have an affair when she was a baby. I should have left him them. I do not believe in divorce and now he has us in such a bind with a high equitity line in the house and high house payment for 20 some more years and I am almost 55. He has thrown the equitity line on me to pay and he spent the money to the limit and now can not pay on it. His work is not good. He bought sea doos and a $52,000 truck before he left which he had to sell the seadoos and barely hanging onto the truck. He just recently had to move out of the lakehouse he was renting because he is broke. He was seen at Thanksgiving with a blonde out and went running leaving her standing when he got caught. Now he is dating someone that looks like the woman that he had the first affair with. I ask him where he was living and he said, “I am between places.” I said you better not be at a womans house. He did not say. I found out where she lives and his truck is at her house. Is this legal. I am so ashamed. He is so demanding and overbearing. I am paying for his health insurance. I told him a long time ago I was going to get rid of it and he told me that I would not be able to get the rent from a building that I collect and keep it to help me with the house payment if I got rid of his health insurance. I am a retired school teacher and he has also threatened to get a divorce and take half of my retirement which I know he doesn’t deserve one red penny but the law says he can. He has done nothing but spend while I have been behind him trying to pick up some of the money he literally drops from blowing it. He was out on the street and the women took him in. Can I use this in any way. Do I need pictures. What do I do when he treatens me with my retirement. I do not try to get a divorce because it would be expensive. We would never agree on anything. Do I have the upperhand in anyway. We do not have separation papers but he has been gone for 2 years.

Adultery is still a crime in North Carolina, but finding a prosecutor to take the case may be near impossible. His affair or affairs would be useful if you were seeking alimony, but it seems that he does not earn much income and therefore is not the supporting spouse, which leaves you without a claim for alimony.