THANK YOU for your response, I really appreciate it!
It’s very confusing and scary to navigate these issues. My ex says he got a pay cut this year and that he will have to reduce my alimony. Who can help me handle a change? Is it a mediator or a lawyer? My ex and I always keep things pretty civil and have not used a lawyer. He doesn’t trust lawyers and says lawyers will make things bad between us and break down our communication. I just want to make sure I am walking a fine line of protecting myself and not rocking the boat with him.
It sounds like it would be worth your time and money to at least consult with a lawyer to determine if a modification/amendment to alimony is reasonable or against your best interests.
A mediator can help the two of you reach an agreement on a modified/amended amount, but they cannot give you legal advice.
Anna Ayscue
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm Cary • Chapel Hill • Durham • Raleigh • Wake Forest
Rosen Online | Unlimited confidential access to a North Carolina attorney for $199/mo - click here
The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service only, a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action. The information posted on this forum is available for public viewing and is not intended to create an attorney client relationship with any individual. These answers are provided for informational purposes only, a person should consult with their own individual legal counsel before taking any action that could affect their legal rights or obligations.
Is Bed and Board possible after separation happened? The accused spouse is residing at marital home and affected spouse has left the house.
You can still file a claim for divorce from bed and board after the separation.
Anna Ayscue
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm Cary • Chapel Hill • Durham • Raleigh • Wake Forest
Rosen Online | Unlimited confidential access to a North Carolina attorney for $199/mo - click here
The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service only, a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action. The information posted on this forum is available for public viewing and is not intended to create an attorney client relationship with any individual. These answers are provided for informational purposes only, a person should consult with their own individual legal counsel before taking any action that could affect their legal rights or obligations.
Is Bed and Board an option if the spouse doesn’t respond to the initial complaint for PSS,ED & Alimony? Or does it have to be part of the 1st complaint?
You would need to file the claim for divorce from bed and board in the initial court complaint.
If the defendant does not answer the court complaint properly served on them, then you should schedule a court date for whatever issues you want/need heard (PSS, ED, etc.) and mail the defendant the notice of hearing and certificate of service.
Anna Ayscue
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm Cary • Chapel Hill • Durham • Raleigh • Wake Forest
Rosen Online | Unlimited confidential access to a North Carolina attorney for $199/mo - click here
The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service only, a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action. The information posted on this forum is available for public viewing and is not intended to create an attorney client relationship with any individual. These answers are provided for informational purposes only, a person should consult with their own individual legal counsel before taking any action that could affect their legal rights or obligations.
If initial complaint is already made in court and PSS & ED dates are scheduled, can we an amendment to the initial complaint for Bed and Board? If not what’s the option?
You cannot amend the complaint to add a new claim but you can file a motion in the cause for divorce from bed and board or you can file a new court action for that claim.
Anna Ayscue
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm Cary • Chapel Hill • Durham • Raleigh • Wake Forest
Rosen Online | Unlimited confidential access to a North Carolina attorney for $199/mo - click here
The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service only, a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action. The information posted on this forum is available for public viewing and is not intended to create an attorney client relationship with any individual. These answers are provided for informational purposes only, a person should consult with their own individual legal counsel before taking any action that could affect their legal rights or obligations.
Is it possible to represent myself and not retain an attorney? My spouse has retained one but I don’t want to retain a lawyer as I may not be able to afford the legal fees.
Yes, you can represent yourself.
Anna Ayscue
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm Cary • Chapel Hill • Durham • Raleigh • Wake Forest
Rosen Online | Unlimited confidential access to a North Carolina attorney for $199/mo - click here
The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service only, a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action. The information posted on this forum is available for public viewing and is not intended to create an attorney client relationship with any individual. These answers are provided for informational purposes only, a person should consult with their own individual legal counsel before taking any action that could affect their legal rights or obligations.
My ex husband and I have a separation agreement we both did without a lawyer and it is notarized and filed with county records in 2019. We were married for 20 years.
He makes a lot of money as a consultant and is telling me he is getting pressured to take a permanent employee position at his company, with a huge reduction to his salary(the company has been pressuring him for many years to become a permanent salaried employee).
He says this means he will have to significantly reduce my alimony to stay with the percentage of alimony based off of his income.
Should I get a lawyer to help me negotiate any changes to my alimony? Or do I need to just accept that my alimony percentage stays the same based on his earnings(so I will always get 30% of what he makes)?
Verbally we said that if he makes less, I will get less. But if he makes more money, I won’t get more money.
If your separation agreement was not incorporated into the divorce judgment, then the alimony terms are non-modifiable unless you both agree to them. If the terms state you receive 30%, then you will receive 30% unless he agrees to change this.
If your separation agreement was incorporated into the divorce judgment (which transforms the separation agreement into a court order), then alimony can be modified upon a substantial change in circumstances. If his income decreases, you may want to consult with a lawyer about filing a motion to modify alimony.
Anna Ayscue
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm Cary • Chapel Hill • Durham • Raleigh • Wake Forest
Rosen Online | Unlimited confidential access to a North Carolina attorney for $199/mo - click here
The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service only, a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action. The information posted on this forum is available for public viewing and is not intended to create an attorney client relationship with any individual. These answers are provided for informational purposes only, a person should consult with their own individual legal counsel before taking any action that could affect their legal rights or obligations.
We are not officially divorced yet, Judgement is set for a month from now. The separation agreement is not incorporated into the filing so would not be incorporated into the judgement.
There are no terms in the agreement that state I will only receive 30% of his income. He is just verbally telling me that he will keep my alimony at 30% of what he makes because that is what money he gives me now.
He hasn’t made the official decision to switch to become a permanent employee. So is it better to find a lawyer now to help me with navigating the changes, if any, to the agreement? Or should I wait to see if he actually does become a salaried employee?
I’m not trying to rock the boat. We signed the agreement without any help from lawyers and I trusted that he would keep my standard of living with the alimony and signed separation agreement. Now, he says he is being fair to me and that if I hire an attorney it will ruin our friendly status and pit us against one another. He is pressuring me to sit down with him to look at his numbers and that because he has been giving me 30% for the last 18 months since we signed the agreement, that I keep getting 30% based on what he makes.
I just want to protect my future and make sure my interests are protected. He is making it sound like I have no choice in the matter and that I have to accept what he gives me which is 30% of his income forever. It’s upsetting because he is making me feel guilty about wanting a lawyer to help me negotiate. He is making me feel like I am doing something wrong to get help from a lawyer.
Since your alimony terms are in a fully executed separation (signed and notarized by you both) and it has not been incorporated into a divorce judgment, then the alimony terms are non-modifiable unless you both agree.
So if you are in agreement with the current terms are stated in the separation agreement, then you do not have to agree to any change in those and he will need to continue paying according to the terms. And if he does not continue to pay according to the terms, then you could file suit against him for breach of contract.
If you are in agreement to change the terms, then hiring a lawyer to help you negotiate and fair and reasonable amendment would be wise if you and your spouse disagree on the amended terms.
Anna Ayscue
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm Cary • Chapel Hill • Durham • Raleigh • Wake Forest
Rosen Online | Unlimited confidential access to a North Carolina attorney for $199/mo - click here
The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service only, a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action. The information posted on this forum is available for public viewing and is not intended to create an attorney client relationship with any individual. These answers are provided for informational purposes only, a person should consult with their own individual legal counsel before taking any action that could affect their legal rights or obligations.
What would be an ideal discount rate for negotiating lump sum alimony rather than monthly payments for 14 years?
You can use a financial calculator to calculate the time value of money, however, there is no set or standard discount rate. The lump sum amount is simply negotiable.
Anna Ayscue
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm Cary • Chapel Hill • Durham • Raleigh • Wake Forest
Rosen Online | Unlimited confidential access to a North Carolina attorney for $199/mo - click here
The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service only, a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action. The information posted on this forum is available for public viewing and is not intended to create an attorney client relationship with any individual. These answers are provided for informational purposes only, a person should consult with their own individual legal counsel before taking any action that could affect their legal rights or obligations.