Confused and have lost any trust

My husband left me after 42 years of marriage. Never a really happy marriage and he said he had to have his own house. He built a town house without my knowledge and then had three law suits against him because he had “neglected” to mention on his applications that there was someone who might not be in favor of this action. I wound up signing the papers because I did not want to use our retirement money to pay off the suits.

He tells me now that he had a friend who would have loaned him $200,000 if I had not signed. It has come to light that the friend is his old high school sweetheart who lives back in the area where they grew up. When he visited his mother’s house there because it needs to be sold, he stayed at her house for two weeks. Then, she stayed with him for five days in the town we are now living in. He explained her to our grown children as a long time family friend, when she stayed with him here. When I told him how much it hurt that he had done this and told our friends about it he said “You know nothing happened because I can’t be intimate because of my prostrate surgery.”

My husband claims that he is not going to file for divorce because he does not want to separate the IRA money and have to pay a lot of taxes on it. I did not plan on a divorce in the future because he just seemed to want his own house. He has been seeing a psychiatrist who I am convinced told him to move out because it would be good for him. When our daughter went with him to an appointment because she was concerned about a big personality change in her father the psychiatrist told her she just didn’t understand her father and she should get some help for herself.

This comes along with my lawyer withdrawing from my case and his lawyer trying to get me to sign an agreement.

Anybody that can relate to any of this ?

My husband left me after 34 years of marriage. He left while my mother was dying. He had been controling and abusive and the physiclal abuse became much worse in the 6 months before he left. It seems he was trying to force me from the home thinking that he could claim abandonment and not have to pay any alimony. He wants to sell our home. It is not even close to being paid off after 22 yeras because he kept refiniancing and each time I went to sign pappers he had rolled tens of thousands into the loan.
Now that he has left he produced an equity loan for $80,000 that I didn’t know about. He told me I wouldn’t remember signing it and he is right. I because I didn’t. It was signed 3 days before he let me for someone else. At the time he was telling me everyday that he was leaving. There was no way I was signing anything. I knew he was having an affiar.
Now he is gaslighting me. Trying to make me look crazy. I have no idea what good it will do him. it just means that he must pay my insurance and meds. But he is keeping me so frightened.
He has a high powered position in the city we live in. He has been telling everyone that I am nuts. My own church has turned me away when I asked for help.
Somone has been breaking into the house and the police refuse to investigate. You can go online and get your own report, but they do not exisit. Try it
Granite Quarry, NC OCA# 10-081c113534. See if you pull up anything. You are supposed to be able to pull it up with the name, or #. I’m not crazy and neither are you. we are both victoms.