Custody case...lots of drama...what's likely to happen?


#1

back story: my husband and i had split up for over 6 months in 2006, he took 2 of our 3 girls after i’d let him visit with them at my family’s house and filed a custody order against me saying he’d had them the entire time and i’d basically abandoned the 2 older girls and only had anything to do with the baby. In Nov. of 2006 he and i reconciled, and he told me repeatedly that he’d had the papers dropped…

Current: he and i stayed together till May of this year when I left him because of his actions, he was constantly angry, knocking holes in the wall, drinking too much, etc…i took the girls and we went to stay with a friend that lived in another county, but i made the trip everyday to the girls school so that they wouldn’t have to change schools so close to the end of the year. he and i talked and had a verbal agreement that the kids would primarily reside with me, he’d get them every other weekend, we’d split holidays and summers. during the summer it all goes fairly good, except for him spoiling the children, buying them cell phones, a laptop, letting them stay up all night, eating just junk food, telling them that mommy will let people hurt them, and molest them, etc…(my kids are all 3 in elementary school) it struck me as unusual because until we split up he had nearly nothing to do with the girls, he didn’t attend their IEP meetings, conferences, dr. appts, etc…that was all up to me, then he started acting like he’s their best friend giving them anything and everything they asked for. anyways, back in august about 2 weeks before school started back, and while i was trying to get the kids records switched to the new school, he called and asked if he could have the girls for a week because he had the week off work, i didn’t think anything bad of it and agreed, it was to be from monday-sunday, and i was to get the girls back sun. at 6pm. he and i talked on the phone that weds. evening and he agreed with the time and we agreed to meet at our designated place. saturday night i call him again and to verify once more, this time he tells me that no, he is not going to bring the girls back to me, because he’d never actually dropped the papers from 2006 so the older 2 were still his and not mine according to the courts. i was furious because i’d been they’re primary parent. then i asked about our youngest daughter and he said that even though she was legally supposed to be in my custody that he would not return her and there was nothing i could do about it. after that anytime i asked about the girls he refused to tell me anything only saying that he deserves to have them because i left him and because that had happened i didn’t deserve to be a parent. a few weeks later upon legal advice i decide to try and find the school my children are now enrolled in because he had it switched to another school without bothering to tell me, and i find the school, but he has it set up so i can have no contact with my children, unless he specifically says so, i call and ask him to at least make it so i can visit them when i could, he refused, saying it’s none of my concern and that he’d be just as well if the children forgot about me. so now, i’m going through a custody battle from the land down under, and i don’t mean australia! what i’m hoping to get some insight on is what are my chances of getting the children back? will him spoiling them hurt my chances? what about the fact i left? i was told that since he’s not currently represented i could possibly do an ex parte order to get my girls back? is that possible? how would it work? it’s tearing me apart that i’m not with my girls, we were inseperable! any advice is greatly appreciated! thanks!


#2

Are you located outside of NC and he’s in NC? If so, then you would need to check with the laws in your state about an ex parte emergency order. You could possibly get one here if the roles were reversed. Did he ever officially get a custody order? If not, then you have just as much rights to the children as he does. I would recommend you immediately consult with an attorney to either modify custody (if there’s an existing order) or to file for custody if there is no prior order in place. If he was awarded custody in court, you would have received notice of this.


#3

yes, he and i both reside in nc. he lives in granville county and i live in alamance county. the current custody agreement is the emergency temporary custody order he’d previously filed in 2006 that i was informed had been dropped, since it had not been, he’s reinstated it and it trying to make it permanent, which would only allow me to see my girls for about 2 hours every other week, supervised, although if he has his way, he will cut me out of their lives completely. my girls need me, i understand them a lot better than he does, my oldest and youngest are both high-functioning autistic, and i’ve been the one in charge of all their appointments and i’m very worried that he’s not taking care of them like he should!


#4

With their medical needs and his withholding the children from you, I believe you strongly need to speak to an attorney about this case. An emergency custody order is only valid until a full hearing on the merits can be had. He must have had such a hearing at some point in the past five years to have custody, and you would’ve needed to be served. If you’ve not had a hearing, then it’s unlikely he has a valid and current custody order from an ex parte case five years ago.