# Custody Issue
**URL:** https://forum.rosen.com/t/custody-issue/2106
**Category:** Divorce and Separation Answers
**Created:** [May 17, 2005, 7:50pm UTC](https://forum.rosen.com/t/custody-issue/2106 "2005-05-17T19:50:53Z")
**Posts on this page:** 4
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Frank714](https://forum.rosen.com/u/Frank714)
#### Post date: [May 17, 2005, 7:50pm UTC](https://forum.rosen.com/t/custody-issue/2106/1 "2005-05-17T19:50:53Z")
Dear TD,
There is no other way to ensure that you will get to see your children on a regular basis unless you file for divorce and either seek custody or visistation. As a father you have a right to visitation and the burden of proof that you are unfit would be on her.
It sounds to me like your wife has her mind made up. When that time comes there is nothing left to do but take action and protect your relationship with your children. I speak from experience and am a veteran of sorts in these kinds of matters. If she is already withholding your kids, think of how it will be 4 or 5 years from now. You need to file for divorce and visitation immediatlly. The best advice an old (lawyer} friend ever gave me was file first and file now. I hope you take it.
Good Luck
Frank
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### Author:  [@JanetFritts](https://forum.rosen.com/u/JanetFritts)
#### Post date: [May 18, 2005, 7:58pm UTC](https://forum.rosen.com/t/custody-issue/2106/2 "2005-05-18T19:58:09Z")
Dear Tormented Dad:
Greetings. You could try to find a solution through active negotiations - which may be amicable or hostile depending on who you retain and what they do to commence the negotiations. This process can feel longer than court sometimes, simply because there are no deadlines.
Other than negotiations, which may or may not work, you must go through the court system. I wish you luck in saving your marriage.
One thing I tell many of my clients - most never listen, but why not say it here again - you must respect yourself enough to enforce your rights or your spouse will not respect you either. Thank you.
Janet L. Fritts
Attorney with Rosen Divorce
4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.256.1665 direct fax
10925 David Taylor Drive, Suite 100
Charlotte, North Carolina 28262
704.644.2831 main voice
704.307.4595 main fax
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### Author:  [@gebjr](https://forum.rosen.com/u/gebjr)
#### Post date: [May 19, 2005, 4:43am UTC](https://forum.rosen.com/t/custody-issue/2106/3 "2005-05-19T04:43:24Z")
Janet, You quote was perfect…People- follow that advice…
The " Lets be friends because of the children thing works until you get a certified letter " My wife had no respect until my lawyer made her,
“It never hurts to wait to see the attack,then react to the weakness but then never be affraid to attack when they are running” Bruce Lee
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### Author:  [@Tormented\_Dad](https://forum.rosen.com/u/Tormented_Dad)
#### Post date: [May 17, 2005, 2:09pm UTC](https://forum.rosen.com/t/custody-issue/2106/4 "2005-05-17T14:09:27Z")
My spouse recently left our residency with our child with her. The departure was not forced, in fact I had pleaded with her to stay. She is determined to divorce me which is clearly her perogative, but she is disallowing me to see my child. Is there a way to legally compell her to allow me to see my child without having any kind of agreement or court order in place. I would rather not have to go that route as I am despreatly attempting to save our marriage, but she is leaving me with few options.
Please help!