Custody terminology

If the children reside with you the majority of the year, then you claim them on your taxes. He can TRY to claim them, but the IRS will catch it. My sister went through the same thing, and her ex claimed one without telling her (it was not agreed to in any paperwork-the kids lived primarily with her). She turned around and claimed both and he got popped. He had to pay the IRS back a lot of money. He was pissed-but he did it to himself.

But does the term Joint Managing Conservators(or conservatorship) exist in NC custody? I’ve done a search on this website but can’t find it.

WHY would you agree to no child support? Think that through very hard first. If he’s trying to manipulate you with that rest assured that the state is going to require him to pay it.

I just want to make sure you don’t regret it down the line (although you can ALWAYS file for it).

"joint managing conservatorship…In a joint conservatorship , the parents continue to share the duties and responsibilities of raising the child(ren), … "

I found this online. Sounds like it’s basically the same term that Joint Custody states…that both parents have a say in the welfare, raising and decision making for the kids. Looks like a Texas term. Does the ex live in Texas?

Some more:

Texas has now adopted presumptive Joint Managing Conservatorship. The court is required to appoint both parents as Joint Managing Conservators, unless it finds that the appointment would significantly impair the child’s physical health or emotional development. Joint Managing Conservatorship means the sharing of the rights, privileges, duties and powers relating to their child by two parties, even if the exclusive power to make certain decisions may be awarded to one party. Joint Managing Conservatorship does not mean that there will be equal or nearly equal periods of physical possession or access to the child by each parent.

Google Joint Managing Conservatorship and you’ll find more info.

Thanks to 4them and needinganswers!

The reason I would give up cs is because this man is a big slacker. Its easy to say the Court would order him to pay it but that doesn’t mean that he would. He has had so many periods of unemployment that its just not likely that I would see consistent child support. If he thinks he can get out of it, in exchange for equity in the house and my retirement, then by all means, I’ll let him out of it. I would never see it! The courts can order all the want but if a slacker doesn’t work or works and doesn’t report income, there is nothing they can do. I know I could get his tax refunds but that would take years.

Needinganswers - yes, that is a Texas term and he is a Texan! However, I haven’t seen that anywhere in NC. I think he thinks that if it’s listed that way, he will have a right to claim one of the kids on his income tax. However, I just spoke to someone about Tax law and the person with the biggest income gets to claim them UNLESS the custodial parent files a waiver. I’m not doing that!!! Thanks again!

You are still entitled to equity in the home so don’t do anything or agree to anything without an attorney looking things over very carefully.

Tax returns are pretty easy to get nowadays. You just have to make sure to file the paperwork in time.

As for him not paying, it’s true he probably won’t BUT the judgement will be there and it will make it harder for him to live his life, keep his liscense, get a passport, etc. He can go to jail as well.

All I’m saying is, just DON’T give into demands or intimidation because it will be easier for you. TRUST ME men like this will ALWAYS find something else to control you with! I feel like he’s trying to take advantage of you and manipulate you (talked to a judge, that’s BS!)

Also, he can’t claim the kid regardless if you have placement. The income being higher only matters in cases of 50/50 splits as a tie breaker.

Just make sure you look out for what is best for you and your child and don’t worry about anything else.

Good luck to you!

I would like to make one more statement… Even if he doesn’t pay, it does go into arears and unpaid child support cannot be waived by bankrupcy. He will always owe you. If you get it now or when your child is in college it is yours. If you never get it and have not been dependant on it, then what have you lost? Also…If you don’t trust him enough to let him have a chance at child support, why would you trust him to take care of your child(ren, make legal descions or prevent you from making legal descions for them? I would consiter full custody if I were you.

Keep in mind that a lot of this is stuff that we have gone through or watched someone else go through.
If your ex wants you to retain primary physical custody while you share legal custody then that is the normal scenario. But even in this scenario, you should file for child support even if you think you that you won’t get it.
My best friend’s husband is getting child support now at 35. His father was no where to be found while growing up so he paid no child support to his mother. Now, 25 years later, when he got married, his father sent him a card and check. With his address…He promptly turned around and gave this information to his mother who was able to get child support. She splits the check between him and his sister since she feels that the money is theirs.
NC defaults to joint legal custody, which is both parent having a say in school, medical and religious decisions, but that isn’t always followed through with either. Most parents believe that if they have primary physical custody which is the daily care and maitenance of the child(ren) that they have more say, which is not the case.

Your ex wants to file one child so that he will get to claim Head of Household and get a deduction that he doesn’t deserve if the children live with you primarily.
My suggestion, file for primary legal and physical custody. Give him liberal visitations. You can even have specific dates put in or request that any special visits require notice of 10 days or however long.
File for child support based on the guidelines and use his current or last income or even minimum wage. Or if you’re working an agreement have it put in that he’ll pay you something like $50 a month for each child. If it’s way below the guideline amounts then it’s possible he may agree. You can always have this modified to meet the guidelines if he grows up and holds down a job.
Plan to pay him 1/2 the equity in the home at the time of separation and make some other bargain with him about the retirement. Offer the car, the sofa, something that you can replace…
The point is to make an agreement that you can live with and won’t be kicking yourself over down the road. You don’t have to take him to court every time he doesn’t pay, but it will come back around. As trbotina suggested, what have you lost by requesting what you are entitled to?

I am not familiar with that term, so I cannot tell you if it differs from our joint custody provisions.

There are two factors to consider when making a decision regarding tax exemptions for the children. If there is no agreement between the parties then the IRS will allocate the exemptions to the parent who the children live with the majority of the year. However, if the two of you agree he can claim one of the children then you are able to agree to that. The IRS is only interested in making sure that you both do not claim the same child.

If the two of you have not reached an agreement regarding child support yet, I would suggest you not allow him to claim the children until you have a written agreement on child support.

Helena M. Nevicosi
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm

4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.787.6361 main fax

Charlotte Office
301 McCullough Drive
Suite 510
Charlotte, NC 28262
Main Phone: (704)307.4600
Main Fax: (704) 9343.0044

Durham & Chapel Hill Office
1829 East Franklin Street
Building 600
Chapel Hill, NC 27514
(919) 321.0780


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Does anyone know what is meant by “joint managing conservatorship”? My STBX wants to have that in the paperwork rather than joint custody. That is a term that is used in other states but I don’t think it’s used in NC. Is it different from custody? Why would it matter? He also told me that even though they would live with me, he wants to claim one of them on his taxes! I have agreed to no child support from him so I don’t see how that would be possible!