Dating after seperation in North Carolina


#1

Can you date in NC once legally seperated from your spouse without having the consequences of adultery?


#2

There is nothing to keep you from dating once separated, but your spouse could use that conduct to corroborate marital misconduct prior separation.


#3

“but your spouse could use that conduct to corroborate marital misconduct prior separation.”

How so? My ex-husband has accused me of cheating in the past. Now we are getting separated, I do not want him accusing me again now, but wouldn’t be surprised. But I also do not want to sit around my apartment alone when our son is with his dad…How can the conduct of dating come back to bite me?


#4

swiftymom…in my particular case, my husband and I worked together but didn’t begin dating until after his separation. It was still used against us as leverage. I was threatened with suits of AA & CC based upon the idea that we had engaged in an extramarital affair. Furthermore, the ex contacted our workplace as well as various politically-connected colleagues and told them all that we had been sleeping together for years. I had to spend money to defend myself, and we ended up having to move because my husband couldn’t get a job due to her slander. In the end, my husband agreed to provisions in the separation agreement that he probably wouldn’t have simply so she would stop. So, in this case, while there may be no proof, just the appearance of impropriety can cost through legal fees and social perception.

So, my advice would be that if you want to date someone, try to make it a date with a group of people. If you choose to see that person solo, don’t have them over to your house and don’t go to theirs. And definitely, don’t sleep with them.


#5

I have heard that you can put in your separation agreement that both parties are free to date/see whomever they wish once separated. If this is in the agreement, and one party started dating someone, could it still be used against the spouse that is dating?


#6

Two thoughts on this:

1.) That statement doesn’t deal with behavior that occurred prior to the sep agreement being signed…and post-separation behavior can be used to assist in providing proof that misconduct occurred prior.
2.) It doesn’t protect the person you are dating.

In swiftymom’s case, her STBX had already accused her of misconduct prior to their separation. I wouldn’t give him any ammo, IMHO.