Double DOS issue

My husband moved out of our family home 11/16/20 at my request; my intention was to pursue a total divorce. Then he moved back in 4/29/21, without discussion or warning. He did it because 1) he was angry to learn that I had started dating, and 2) he’d decided that he wanted to keep the family home, citing that he would buy me out.

After consulting a lawyer, I scrambled immediately to find housing and worked daily to figure out finances and address special housing needs for my elderly mother, 2 kids and I (I have full charge of my dependent mom and my husband and I share the kids 50/50). But I wasn’t able to secure and move into an rental until 6/14/21. My husband is insistent that the date of separation is therefore June of this year, but 1) I have bank statement evidence that he didn’t officially break his apartment lease until June, and 2) he tried to finagle higher settlement dollars by using the November 2020 DOS as a negotiation tool. I would not accept his offer, so now he rescends the “option” to solidify the November DOS. But I consider his offer as an admission/agreement that November 2020 is an acceptable DOS, regardless of the settlement numbers.

We are still working on a separation agreement (currently arguing about the home price), and I guess I just want to know if it’s a moot point to try and pursue the November DOS, or if I have to wait another six months before I can file.

I have been a SAHM, homeschooler and caretaker for 11 years so I’m wondering if the court would take that into consideration regarding how long it took to get myself moved out (considering my lack of job, needs and responsibilities).

Thanks in advance for your input, I very much appreciate your time.

If, when your husband moved back in in April 2021, the marital relationship resumed, then the date of separation would be 6/14/21. The marital relationship is resumed if you and your spouse began to share marital responsibilities like sharing of household expenses and duties/chores, etc. and holding yourself out to the public as being in a marital relationship.


Anna Ayscue

Attorney with Rosen Law Firm Cary • Chapel Hill • Durham • Raleigh • Wake Forest

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That clarifies it for me, thank you.