Ex wants to change custody/CS in separation agreement

my ex told my kids ages 8 and 11 in a “don’t tell mom” conversation that he has a gf now and he doesn’t want to pay me anymore, told them the amount he pays me per month (a breech of our agreement), and introduced them to the new gf prior to the 8 month window(breech of agreement). i don’t care about the gf but its upsetting he would have an inappropriate convo with our kids and threaten to “take your mom to court” for 50/50 custody just because he doesn’t feel like paying. he currently doesn’t even exercise his rights to see the kids on the days he is allowed to, let alone more days. this separation agreement has been in effect for 3 years, no substantial changes to his or my life, just his being tired of paying. if i register this agreement in court somehow will it have more protection? do I just wait and see what he does? i have joint custody but primary physical custody right now.

You cannot register the custody and child support terms of your separation agreement with the courts - this simply does not exist since the separation agreement is a contract.

Instead, the terms in the separation agreement remain in full force and effect and the father must continue to follow them unless you both agree to amend the terms. If he violates any of the terms, you can sue him for breach of contract.

The father may initiate a custody and child support lawsuit against you, which can be done since no agreement is truly ever permanent when it comes to custody and child support since it involves minor children.


Anna Ayscue

Attorney with Rosen Law Firm Cary • Chapel Hill • Durham • Raleigh • Wake Forest

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