Feeling lost


#1

My husband wants me out, so he has threatened to go to the courts and have the bed and board brought against me to get me out. I have not had an affair, I have not left my family (we have a son) the only thing is we haven’t had sex in a number of years. I feel that we both have been hurt by each other mentally by saying hurtful things. He is pushing the divorce issue as I’m the one that will be leaving, in the process of buying a house at the moment. He has waited til our son is almost 12 the custody will be joint with no primary custody awarded to either, which he will not be paying child support. I’m at the point I do not want to go through this in that manner, but don’t want to be pusher out either, any advise?


#2

I am not a lawyer!

I went through that with my ex. I was in the house for 3 years and the tension was so high. My 8 yo at the time started talking back to me and hitting me and the ex sat on the couch and said nothing. I decided at that time it was not worth. The damage I was doing to the kids emotionally was not worth it so I left. He hasn’t paid child support since July 2010. Just went to court today and have been awarded and feeling good.

If you are in the process of buying a home sit down and talk with him. Tell him to just let you stay until then. Not to mention it is the holidays and what are you teaching your son? To throw his mom out during the holidays? Is that really a message you want to send? I would emphasis that you need to do what is best for you son!

Go to a mediator and get it all in writing and then maybe you can relax until the move.

Good luck
Pam


#3

Your husband will have to allege and prove that you have done something to warrant the entry of a divorce from bed and board. Even if he is able to do that, the judge would also have to award him possession of the marital residence which does not happen in all cases. If you are working towards separating by purchasing a new residence to live in, it would seem beneficial to both parties to work through the issues and enter a separation agreement.

Note, even if overnight visitation is equal, one party may pay the other child support. The child support guidelines use not just the number of overnights, but also incomes of the parties and expenses paid for the child(ren) into consideration when calculating whether a support payment is appropriate. You should look at our child support calculator to determine what child support may be paid.