to answer #5…yeah, get married ASAP!


I agree this belongs in the no attorney response forum. I would like to first. After reading ALL of your posts I think you are way too “Concerned.” let the mother and father of the children work to have a positive relationship. It is obvious that YOU have caused serious damage to this already. Those children will never be yours, you just met them! quit trying to BREAK their relationship with their mother, if you dont encourage it, they will resent YOU. They are probably saying what they think you and dad want to hear. I think your jealousy over the wife, and your want to have children is going a little far. You have been married LESS than a year and the little girl is 9. You dont know her. And before you were even married YOU wanted to take her to court, for money. I notice there isnt any ‘trauma’ in this post. BTW, psychologists can sometimes work against you, especially if you think they are working for you.Be a stronger woman and back off a little.I MEAN C’MON,‘FUTURE STEPMOM’ [V]


1 Posts
Posted - 02/11/2004 : 20:04:01

My fiance has custody of his two children after his ex left him and abandoned the children. They divorced two years ago. The agreement specifies that the child support she is to pay is a percentage of her net take home pay.

All was fine for two years, and she paid the set percentage of her net take home pay. Alas, when our relationship became serious and I started to spend time with the children she became hostile. She voluntarily quit her job, and moved in with her parents four hours away in SC.

After she quit her job, she told my fiance that she did not owe any child support, that “20% of nothing is nothing!” This was a huge burden. After six weeks she finally did get a part-time job, but her take home pay is much less than half of her former income!

My questions:

  1. Can her move to SC, or taking only a part-time, job qualify as a “Change in Circumstances”?

  2. Will a NC court impute income, seeing as how she became ‘voluntarily unemployed’ and then took only a part-time job?

  3. Must we go to mediation first, or can we take her directly to court? (The mediator did a lousy job, and his attorney was definitely NOT a Rosen attorney… she was apparently a moron!)

  4. We are almost sure that the ex has taken another job waitressing, but she has not used that income in her calculations of child support. What are our options? Private Investigtator? DCSE?

  5. On a related issue: should we get married immediately to avoid the problem of my ‘cohabitating’ with them two or three nights a week? My residence is over 2 hours away, so going home each night is not an option. I sleep only on the couch, we are both Christians and do not have an ‘illicit’ relationship, and I have an excellent relationship with the two children. I was hoping for a big church wedding, but if my visits risk the custody, we will get married ASAP.

Thank you for any advice you can offer