How solid is a DIY SA in the court room?


My wife had sex with “an old school friend that she has so much in common with” that she met on facebook. I have the confession recorded. Now that this line is crossed, it’s over. She has been telling me for weeks she wants out, doesn’t love me anymore etc. I had been trying to salvage it for the sake of the kids. The fact is that the most important thing to me is the well being of the kids, the most important thing to her is her happiness.

Now that she has been with another man, it’s over. It is so over, and we are in such agreement on it, that we aren’t even fighting about it. She wants out right now. We both agreed that we don’t want to spend the money or time to go through a lawyer. I made her a lump sum offer to get out of the house and leave me and the kids in it (so that their life would change as little as possible) and she accepted after a few choice words from her father. I drafted the separation agreement and believe that it is done right. She had racked up quite a bit of debt over the years behind my back. I make four times the money that she does (she used to make a decent wage but decided she wanted to do something different so she quit). The lump sum that she will get will pay off all of her bills and put a good chunk of change in the bank afterwards. In short, in the SA it says neither one of us want an attorney (used the verbiage in your sample SA), neither one of us gets alimony, she keeps all her debt and all of her accounts (bank and reitrement) and vice versa for me. I gave her her car that I paid for entirely. We sat down and went through every provision of the separation agreement. She got an apartment and took from here what she wanted. I helped her move out and its all in gear. Not a single argument. Again, we are in full agreement. She was practically skipping on her way out the door. Me and the kids are adjusting to our new life.

When we went to the notary, I asked her four questions that two people were witness to:

1.) Do you understand everything that is in here? - a happy Yes
2.) Do you have any questions about anything that is in here? - a happy No
3.) Are you fine with everythiing that is in here? - a happy Yep
4.) Is anyone forcing you do sign this and are you under any kind of duress? - a happy Nope

My northern based family is giving me a major hard time about it. My father’s statement expresses their concerns the best:

She is going to crash and burn within a year and will have all of that money spent. You are gong to go in that court room, the judge is going to ask was she properly represented, and when they see that you created the SA, they will throw the whole thing out and that lump sum will be gone and you will be back at square one without all that money you paid her in that lump sum.

I agree that she will likely crash and burn after this grass-greener-on-the-other-side fantasy becomes reality and I fully expect that she will start trying to get custody solely for the sake of getting child support that will be so much she will be able to live without having to work. Although I don’t see her quitting her job as she likes it. I understand that these battles are yet to come.

Fact is, she is coming out of this with a pile of money in her pocket even after she pays off all of those credit cards and other bills. I am giving her just about everything I have in my bank account and will have to take a loan out to accomodate the other part of the lump sum due at the end of the month but what I am getting out of this is that the life of my children will change as little as possible and that is my goal. I can make the money back.

Based on what you see in this post, how solid is this separation agreement? I am tired of hearing my family tell me how she is going to get a lawyer and find a way to get out of it once the money runs out. Honestly, even if she did, there’s nothing to take. I have given her all of my money, I don’t have a 401k, and I have her on tape telling me about going out and hooking up with the FaceBook guy.



She can hire an attorney and try to have the agreement set aside, but I do not believe her suit will be successful. This binding contract was notarized and witnessed.