Originally posted by jnewman
After 10 years I have had it with my wifes constant negitive statements about my weight ( I weigh what I did when we married) and lack of support(moral not monitary) for things like finishing my BS and persuing my MS degree. I have never cheated nor has she (from what I know) We have no children. We own a house. We both are technical professionals and each make good money. either of us can afford the house alone.
What are my options so that I do not get screwed.
If you have made the decision to separate and divorce, you are best served by organizing your finances. Begin by identifying your assets and debts. As you stated, one asset is your home. Assuming you have disclosed your desire to separate and divorce to your spouse, you can request that the two of you sit down and see if you can at least agree on the list of assets and debts. If you get through that conversation, and it may not be easy, the next decision is how you will separate both physically and financially.
It is often helpful at this point, to ask what your spouse may be considering for each of above. You can then determine how far apart you are in terms of your desires and ideas for a settlement. For example, given your situation, an option for each of you is to remain in the home and the other move out. The decisions that go into this option include, in part, refinancing the mortgage to remove the other from liability and buying-out their interest in the asset. Do you agree on the fair market value of the home? How to distribute the equity (if any)? and ultimately executing a deed transferring the marital asset into the name of the spouse remaining in the home.
Keeping communication open and your end goal in mind, that is, of separation that leaves both of you in a reasonable financial position, will help both of you end your partnership on fair terms.
Deborah M. Throm
Rosen Law Firm
1829 E. Franklin Street, Bldg. 600
Chapel Hill, NC 27514
919.321.0780 main voice
4101 Lake Boone Trail
Raleigh, NC 27607
919.787.6668 main voice
301 McCullough Drive
Charlotte, NC 28262
704.644.2531 ext. 100