Intent and Opportunity Proven- Can Judge Rule No Adultery?


I have been sued for Alimony by my STBXW.

She had an affair. I have emails where she and the paramour profess their love for each other, along with other information showing “inclination”.

I can show “opportunity” as well. My STBXW and the paramour met in a hotel room- she admitted under oath that they were alone in the room together for hours. She denies that she had sexual intercourse in the room.

For PSS, the judge bought her story and declared that she did not commit adultery, based on her word alone. Can a judge also rule that she didn’t commit adultery for an alimony decision, even if the “inclination and opportunity” standard is met for proving adultery? I find this very confusing. I didn’t think a judge could just say, “I believe that she is telling the truth even though there is a ton of evidence showing otherwise.”


If the judge has already found that she did not commit adultery that is a finding of fact that will stand throughout the case unless you can present newly discovered evidence that you did not have prior to the PSS hearing. The judge as the finder of fact has a duty to consider all the evidence and then make a decision based on what has been presented.


In my case, I had an admission of adultery and evidence. However, the judge informed my lawyer that he would not allow this issue to be presented at trial. I never received an answer as to why the judge was not going to consider the adultery when making his final decisions. As it turned out, I did receive alimony, but it is a “token” alimony. The ex received more than 50% of the property and retained over 90% of his income. With the results, it appeared to me like the judge believed I had committed adultery!!! Sounds to me like you have the brother of the judge who made terribly unfair decisions in my case. Just yesterday, I read an article about the Supreme Court considering a ruling to make sure judges allow all people a fair trial as per the Constitution. So, the Supreme Court Justices seem to be aware that partiality and bias exist within our Court System.


Wow, I am sorry to hear why your judge acted in that manner. I guess he personally didn’t feel that adultery should be a factor in a divorce case, despite the statute. I personally am very glad that I found out that the judge would rule no fault, despite the evidence, when determining PSS.

My lawyers have told me that the question of fault, in an alimony trial with jury, will be considered de novo. That is, the judge’s ruling for the PSS matter is not binding, and should have no effect.

So, I know I need a jury trial for alimony, limited to the question of fault. If the jury finds fault, then the judge thankfully has to follow the statute, which says no alimony for my STBX cheating wife.


You make sure that your lawyer understands you are entitled to a trial by jury! I told my lawyer that I wanted a trial by jury too, but he said “no deal”. With the judge refusing to “hear” adultery, I was trying to do everything possible to get the issue of adultery heard by someone! As it ended up, the judge assigned to my case made sure that I received as little as possible, even to the point that he refused to award me an equal division of property! Made no sense since the ex made 10 times more than I could make and I ended up with more than a 20,000 per month differential. I was also ordered to pay 50% of all extracurricular activities for my child as well as 50% of uninsured medical expenses. The ex retained control of the childrens’ accounts (his child support) while I have to cough up my share of expenses out of my salary. I could not afford an appeal and no matter since any decision would return to the same judge anyway. No one can believe what happened to me. No one. And no one has ANY answers either. Ex took me to court over child expenses that I refused to pay because I had no say in the matter. Judge ordered me to pay 50% of an expensive camp when the ex had told me he would pay! I was in contempt, but the ex was let off the hook for the 1000 he owed me. So, I had to pay him, but he did not have to pay me. Go figure! Ex was also not found in contempt for violating order stating no overnight guests of opposite sex while child in custody. Judge said basically that the ex didn’t understand that a hotel was the same as a “house”. Jeez! I hope this judge dies a horrible death and his married daughter has the worst divorce ever! Can you blame me??? Good luck to you and don’t take “no” for an answer! You owe your ex nothing for her “adultery”. She deserves NOTHING!