My wife said in court that I frequently initiate arguments as well as raise the level of hostility when we argue. My counter is that that’s a load of crap and that she is the one who initiates arguments and raises the level of hostility.
My parents have been happily married for 35 years and I don’t think I’ve ever heard them even argue with each other. I am very blessed in that I grew up in a safe, secure, peaceful environment. Meanwhile, my wife grew up in a situation with constant arguing. Both her parents were alcoholics and her father was physically and verbally abusive. She has done well to escape that environment but fact is that she brought a lot of the anger that she grew up with into our marriage.
Are those facts admissible in court? And if I bring them up, am I going to just look like a jerk or is it going to be seen as a decent indicator of exactly which one of us tends to “argue the most”…?
NC is a no-fault divorce state. Unless your STBX plans on filing a claim of emotional abuse in order to get a divorce from bed & board or in an attempt to influence the award of alimony by claiming marital misconduct (in which case, mere arguing isn’t sufficient), it is really immaterial. I’d say be prepared with some sort of defense in the case she may raise these allegations, but don’t attack her. If she makes allegations, she will have to substantiate them. The burden of proof will rest with her. Let her bury herself.
As far as admissibility of whether or not the parents argue goes, I don’t know what the attorneys will say, but judging from what I’ve seen, it would be considered irrelevant information. For instance, my BF’s parents have been married for over 25 years as were his ex-wife’s parents, yet they divorced. Following your logic, their marriage should’ve lasted at least 25 years because all the tools were there for them to succeed. Sometimes people have the same characteristics of their parents, sometimes they react in the polar opposite direction.
Unless your wife has insinuated that you have acted violently towards her, you have nothing to worry about. The courts are not concerned with who is at fault for the breakup of a marriage in so far as arguing is concerned.
My experience…he said this bad thing, I countered denying it and the judge pretty much said…its irrelevent as far as the divorce goes.
Divorce can bring out the evil in a person. Psychologically…when one falsely accuses, it is usually because THAT PERSON is the one guilty of the action and they accuse the other person of doing to make themselves feel better. Don’t worry.
Family members and their relationship is irrelevant in divorce. Basically, your relationship and what you did or did not do to each other is irrelevant in a divorce. The Court basically does not care who did what. In my case, the judge refused to allow admissible evidence of adultery. So, if that is irrelevant, most everything else is irrelevant. Like everyone said, do not worry.