Is it abandonment?


I caught my husband in an affair in March of this year. His response was to move out without notice and serve me with separation papers the same day. He withdrew $5K from home equity loan and another $5K from savings. He immediately cut off financial income.

There is a 16 year old child still in the home and a 19 year old in college and we agreed to pay for. I just hit the 5th mortgage payment where he has not contributed anything nor has he contributed anything toward either child (the 19 year old was in summer school away from home and I paid all room, board and tuition).

Three questions:

  1. My friends say this is abandonment since there is a minor in the home?
  2. I was just told he called the bank and wants a meeting next week. Can I put a freeze on the account? Where neither of us can touch savings?
  3. My 16 year old has always had the expectation of going to college of her choice. When we get finished with this, can he refuse to pay for any of her college?

I do work and have already dipped into $10K savings to keep up mortgage and school payments.

Any comments appreciated.


Yes, it’s abandonment and abandonment has nothing to do with whether or not there is a minor in the home. But, there is really no separate remedy available for that. You should immediately withdraw all money from that account. If you leave any money in there, be aware that he will likely take it. You should move all of your money into a separate account to protect it. He will have no legal obligation to provide anything for the 19 year old. Regarding the 16 year old, he will have to pay child support but he is not going to be forced by a court to pay for that child’s college or other expenses once they turn 18 and graduate from high school.