It has gotten worse

Yes, it’s me again and my situation has gotten worse since my last post two days ago. Here’s a re-cap of my current situation. I’m a Canadian, my wife is American. We were married in Oct 1999 and she left me just over a week ago for a man she has only known for about 3 weeks (Says he loves her and she says she loves him). She has a history of committing adultery as she also cheated on her last husband. We have two children ages 7 & 11.

Within the past few weeks she told me and our boys she was going to take them fishing to a certain lake we know of but (according to both my sons) she instead them to a different lake close to her boy-friends house. Once there she borrowed a cell phone, called her boy-friend and asked him if he could meet them at the lake which he did. They fished for a while and than they all went to his place.

According to one of the recorded telephone conversations I have of them, they apparently sent the boys outside to play while they “made out” in the kitchen. My oldest son happened to look threw the kitchen window and seen them “making out” and was rather upset with both his mother and her boy-friend. When he confronted them about it his mother lied to him saying, she was only kissing him on the forehead. So he said she was lying and that he seen them threw the kitchen window. Apparently she didn’t say much to him after that.

My son also says at one time during the night, after he caught them in the kitchen, her boy-friend took him outside (because he kept barging in and telling them to stop) than shut both our sons out of the house where they were forced to sit in the van while they kept “making out” behind the closed door. The oldest boy said he knew they were “making out” again because he tried to get back in house but they had their bodies blocking the door however, he could see them threw the window. Keep in mind this is a very very rural area and it was dark outside. Not only was my oldest now very distraught but they were terrified of being eaten by wild animals. On the way home she told the boys not to tell daddy where they had been or what they had seen because if they did, I would beat her up (she’s tried to have me locked up before by falsely accuse me of assaulting her but the police didn’t believe her story and no charges were filed. To be honest with you, it was her that assaulted me. She poured beer over my head, hit me about my head with fists and sank her nails into my neck. I told the officer what had happened and even showed him my wounds. I believe the only reason they didn’t arrest her was because I requested them not to).

On the night she left me, she tricked the boys, and me, into thinking she was taking them fishing again but didn’t say where. When they got into the van she instead took them across the state-line to live at her mothers place in Virginia. Once there she called to tell me what she had done and that I had to get out by the end of (this) month and move back to Canada. While I on the phone I heard my oldest boy yell out to me saying: “Help me daddy, I don’t want to stay here” but there was little I do because the van I was left with was low on fuel and I had no cash or credit cards on hand. Besides, had I set one foot on the property, I believe they would have called the police and had me charged with trespassing .

The following day she came by and gave me a $450 check my Aunt had sent us and said something to the effect of “here’s $450, that will get you back to Canada. I suggest you leave”. However, the van she wanted me to take would be lucky if it made it 1/2 way threw Virginia without breaking down and leaving me stranded. So she left me only two choices. Being that I can not legally work down here, I could have left but, as I said, the van she told me to take is in very bad condition. Or I could stay and fight her for custody of the boys. Therefore I decided to stay and fight.

Her mothers place is far to small for all of them to live comfortably and is over-run with ■■■■ roaches. On the second or third night she walked out on me, she came here to get some clothes and brought the boys with her. Upon leaving, and despite her best efforts to convince him otherwise, my oldest son said he wanted to stay with me which he did. But according to my youngest son who went with her, her boy-friend came over to her mothers later that same night.

My youngest son told me that at some point in the evening, my wife and her boy-friend went into the spare bedroom and shut the door behind them. The bedroom door has a notch (approx 2 in high x 4 in wide) cut into the side of the it. After some time had passed, he wanted to see what his mommy was doing in the bedroom so, he looked threw the notch and seen the two of them laying on the bed. He told me it looked like they were dressed but, he could not tell for sure what they were doing other than mommy was laying on top of her boy-friend kissing him. I asked him how long he stood there watching them do that? To which he replied; a longtime, hours. A longtime… They were no more than a couple feet away yet they were totally oblivious to his presence / his watching them.

Not only that, her mother and live in boy-friend were approx fifteen feet away but were obviously too pre-occupied doing something else and never even noticed him standing outside the bedroom door watching his mother and her boy-friend making out. Makes me furious. And she tells them she’s a good mother!! My youngest son later told his brother what he had seen mommy doing and to this day, my oldest son either refuses to sleep in that bed and sleeps on the floor instead and, my youngest son will often times sleep in a chair…

My wife has been trying to force me out and away from my boys for awhile now. Yesterday when she came over to get some more stuff she later drove to the end of the driveway and payed a visit to our landlady for about an hour or so. I figured they were devising a plan to get me out of the house so that my wife could move back in. Well, today my landlady handed me a thirty day notice to vacate the premises (we rent month to month) and let slip that my wife wanted to move back when I was gone.

My wife stopped in today and informed me that Duke Power is now going to shut the electricity off at the end of this month and that I could either stay here in the dark or move. I asked why did you do that? What about the boys? I can’t have them over when there is no power… She replied in a disheartening tone of voice and said something to the effect of; Oh well, move!! It’s obvious she has no respect for me or concerns for the boys welfare or desire to be with me a few times a week.

Not that many years ago she was involved with a guy online who lived in California. She never visited him but she did want to take the boys and leave me for him. She even went so far as to ask my permission to go “visit” him for a week. Of course I said no. I’ve recorded telephone conversations of her talking with him as well. In one conversation he said: You must have been pretty drunk last night. Why do you say that? She asked. He hesitated for a moment and said, what, you don’t remember?? Maybe I shouldn’t tell you… No tell me she said… Ok, last night you said that you wanted me to have anal sex with you. She starts to laugh and says; I must have been drunk because I don’t remember that. Not only was her saying that bad enough, but my boys were somewhere around the house when she got so drunk the night before that she couldn’t remember saying what she said… Just over a year ago she was convicted of DWI.

And that’s just the tip of the iceberg. I have over 50 recordings of her, among other things, conspiring to take these boys, travel across the country and move in with him. How she loved him and that he loved her, etc… Not only that, his X girl-friend was paying the rent, etc., and living with him at the time. He was also constantly smoking dope. Some of their conversations are hours in duration. I’ve also have thousands of instant messages they sent back and forth as well.

Oh and the man she left me for also smokes dope. Not only do I have witnesses to that but a recorded confessions of him telling my wife he smoked dope just before the two of them went out on a date. Her mother and live in boy-friend are heavy dope smokers as well. She’s consistently late for work. Often times won’t get out of bed to get the boys dressed and off for school.

Also, since I’m not permitted to work in the USA, I have spent the better part of 11 years raising these boys pretty much by myself yet she will dispute that fact by saying say I did nothing (i.e. what she considers work). But, if you ask her, she will tell you that she raised them. She seems to believe that raising children is nothing and if that be the case, I guess she also claims to have done nothing. In a recent reply to an email I sent telling her about the dreary statics of children of divorced parents, she referred to the boys as “her friends and company” rather then our children. I’ve since told her that her boy-friend is suppose to be her friend and companion, not our children.

I’ve tried getting her to reconcile but she refuses. I said don’t do it for us, do it for the boys but she isn’t budging and says “they’ll be fine”. However, my oldest boy (11) has always been stubborn but lately he is becoming very belligerent and talking about suicide. Given that she has the boys on medicaid, I’ve told her more then once that she see needs to set up an appointment for him to see a shrink but she still has not so I am going to do it today. She wants me out of the house, out of the country and as far from these boys as possible and so far, I’m not budging an inch which infuriates her even more.

My questions are: Given that I have a clean criminal record, have raised our two boys basically by myself and from everything I have told you in this post:

1) What would you perceive my chances are of winning full custody?
2) If I am forced, by no will of my own, to leave the country in-order to survive and were to peruse this case from Canada. What would you perceive my chances are of winning full custody if immediately upon my arrival I could provide these boys with a very nice and clean home in a quiet residential neighborhood, good schools and parks within blocks from the house.
3) Given that I’m going to file for Alimony, Alienation of Affection, etc… Would you consider taking your fee from any settlements I may win? I’m in a real bind and she came into some money last night so I’m afraid she’s going to now hire a lawyer and I’ll lose these boys to her.
4) I’m currently flat broke, no assets to speak of, no credit and my friends don’t have the money to help me. All she left me with was $450, a broken down van and what little furniture we have. How much would you charge to handle this case?
5) Do you do Pro Bono work?
6) Would you consider a payment plan of some kind?

The questions you are asking at this point are beyond the scope of this forum, which intended for general legal advice. You will need to set up a consolation with an attorney to discuss your options moving forward.