Long term divorce plan?

Is there such a thing? I will be frank and tell you my goals:

1.) I want to keep everything I have bought and give her nothing I have bought.

2.) I do not want her to benefit from my financial well being in any way shape or form.

3.) I want full custody of my 2 children.

The fact is my wife is spoiled and lazy. I have hoped for years and years that she could evolve into a decent human being but the fact is that she is becoming more and more worthless every day. No, I haven’t told her that as I am sure that would be turned into some kind of mental abuse claim but facts are facts. She makes no contribution to the family other than doing laundry. That’s it. She quit a decent paying job a few years ago to pursue what she “wanted” to do and took a serious financial income loss in doing so. This was done recklessley and without any concerns for the well being of the family. I on the other hand go out of my way to maintain a good living. I don’t WANT to do it but this is what has to be done to make it happen so I just do it despite the fact that I hate doing it. She refuses to have the same ambition.

I could go on for many pages but I will stick to the topic. I don’t feel like her lack of willingness to be a decent person should benefit from my hard work in doing what it takes to be a decent person and a solid contributor.

So considering the goals, is there such a thing that can be done long term to insure that she does not benefit from all of my hard work if I deceide to divorce? We have been married over 10 years and maintain separate bank accounts as we always have. She doesn’t have any money, I have a decent bank account. I pay all the bills because if you tell her to pay a bill she’ll just say she doesn’t have the money. All ears here.

I am not a lawyer but I do not see your goals as reasonable. By law she is entitled to half the wealth/debt of the marriage (property, savings, retirement). If she is the dependent spouse she will also be entitled to alimony (baring any marital fault). Unless she can be deemed an unfit parent is it unlikely you will get full physical/legal custody of the children without her agreement.

I agree with this. I am also not a lawyer, but I agree that what you are wanting is neither reasonable nor likely.

The only thing that may be likely, that I can see from what you’ve written, is that a judge may decide to impute income for her, since she has a history of working, and only recently stopped…and maybe that would be taken into account. However, if it was a “wanted me to be a SAHM” deal, a judge my decide that she can stay that way, until the children are of a certain age…

But, she will be entitled to 1/2 the assets and debts that were acquired during the marriage…

Property is divided equitably, which is presumed to be 50% to each party. There are a number of factors the court can consider in dividing property and contribution to the marriage is one of them. I suggest you take a look at the statute (under the property division tab on the home page) for a list of other factors that may be considered in awarding one spouse a greater than 50% share of the property obtained during the marriage.

Wow, your situation is almost identical to mine. As stated above you are SOL with the financials, I think your best hope is to get her working. Unfortunately it seems that the law favors the lazy.

As for the kids, there is a good video on this website that talks about being the visible parent - things like being the one that takes them to school, soccer practice, doctor’s appointments, etc.

Good luck…