Meeting my ex for delivery of children


#1

Does the child know how to work the neb? Would she be able to show the father how to work it or is there a “instruction sheet” available from the doctor that you could give with the machine so that he could figure this out himself? Maybe give her treatment early in the day and then he would have until the next day to figure it out.

Since you have not been served yet I don’t think it would cause a problem for you to meet him at his parent’s home. Providing that his parents are sort of neutral. If not then it would be alright to have meet you at the police station. Let the father know that you are doing this for everyone’s sake, not just your own. If your ex is petty enough to bring this up in court, I think that given the current legal situation this would be understandable, even to the judge. I do not suggest that you put yourself in the position to be near the new wife. That has the potential to aggrivate the situation.

You and your children need to know that things may not always be this difficult. The first year is always more difficult because everyone wants things to be as they were. Once things calm down some, the new wife “proves” whatever it is she’s trying to prove with this, the ex realizes that you are not trying to keep the children away from him, it will get easier. It’s possible that the ex’s new wife has “threatened” something against you and/or the children where they could hear and that is why she is worried. I’m glad that you have her in counseling. And you need to make sure that she is able to reach you whenever she needs you.


#2

My daughter is too young to work the nebulizer by herself, but it did come with an instructional CD. I could provide that to him. That was a very good suggestion stepmother. My daughter does know how to properly load and inhale the other medication. I just monitor her, so she can show her dad and he can monitor her.

If I meet at the parents’, I am certain that the new wife will be there, plus the parents are 79 and 80 and don’t speak a lot of english. I just don’t feel comfortable meeting him there.

I have thought about asking him to pick the girls up at my parent’s house, so that I would have witnesses, but he has accused my father of threatening him as well. At least this way, we would not have to have police presence. I will have many family members there so even if the tried something, there would be plenty of witnesses.

I am having a difficult time balancing my need to feel safe with the need to not make my daughter more anxious than she already is and still trying to not get in trouble with the court. I think you are right that the judge would look at my legal situation and understand.

I appreciate the encouragement. I really hope that it gets better from here. My daughter is really not doing well because of this and I am just plain tired of being stuck in his games.


#3

My suggestion is that you write him an e-mail requesting to meet at your parents home. Ask that the new wife not be present, given the current legal situation. So there is no confusion and let him know that your family will not come out of the home while he is there also. Let him know that you are not comfortable taking the children to his home due to the current legal situation or his parents home, since they are no longer your family.
If he will not agree to meet at the police station without the new wife along, then this is the only option.
You are, after all, not making him drive halfway to your home in FL…

Keep the e-mail business-like. Let him know that you will provide him with everything for the neb. Make a list in the e-mail of what is being brought with the children and request that all the items be sent back with them. Put in the arrangements for the “exchange” back to your care. In that respect, you could pick them up at his parents home providing that his family does as your does, and does not come outside…I don’t know what your arrangements are for that but this would be fair. You are trying to make this as easy on everyone as you can and given the situation, this seems the logical arrangement.

I don’t understand why she would want to be around someone who she says is harrassing her…My husband’s ex screamed, yelled, cursed, and threatened me almost every time we were around each other so I quit going with him. This way, there was no temptation for her to get wound up and make everyone miserable. Up until August, it was nearly 3 years since I’ve seen her and that was only because of a funeral…


#4

I have yet another question.

Background again just in case. I lost my job, was offered a new one in FL. I notified my ex that we would be moving. Their uninvolved behind in child support father, prompted by his new wife, filed for modification to custody, visitation, child support, etc. I moved early August because I have custody and there wasn’t a visitation schedule. He filed Ex Parte, but the attorneys settled out of court with a temporary visitation order.

Since then, I have had a complaint filed against me with FL Child and Family Services - unsubstantiated and closed. They were very nice people.

About a month later, my ex’s new wife filed criminal charges stating I harassed and threatend her - again not at all the truth. I am the one being harassed. The clerk of court is not allowed to go out of state to serve the summons, so I have to have myself served when I return to NC at Christmas.

When we entered into the temporary order, we agreed to meet half-way for pickup and delivery, but I stated that when I was coming to NC anyway, of course, I would not make my ex meet me. I would simply bring them to NC, so when the order was written by his attorney, it states that I will deliver the girls to their father on Christmas Day at 5:00 pm.

Given the false allegations and the fact that I now have criminal charges against me, I am not at all comfortable taking the girls to their father’s house or his parents’ which is where he wants me to bring them. I feel the need to protect myself from any further allegations. I have asked him to meet me at the police station. He refuses.

My second daughter is asthmatic and requires daily medication and now has a nebulizer for at home treatments. I will need to spend a few minutes with my ex showing him how to use the nebulizer, if needed, and how to administer other medications when I bring the girls, so it can’t be a simple drop and run.

One of my daughters has quite a bit of anxiety over all of this mess. She has expressed to her counselor that she thinks of dying (only 8 yrs old.) due to issues with her father’s new wife. She is afraid of her and thinks she is going to come do something to me or her and her sister. I really don’t want to cause any more anxiety for her.

I guess I could try to have a police officer escort me, but given it is Christmas Day, I have a feeling that I may be out of luck finding one for this, but most of all, it would be disturbing for my daughters. I know meeting at the police station would not be so great for them either, but what else am I to do?

The big question is, will I look bad to the judge for refusing to bring them to his home given the circumstances?