does the other man know? I think you could put your name on the birth certificate and claim the child as your own because you are married maybe give the other guy visitation…what a forgiving, wonderful person you are…your wife is lucky to have you
or and I don’t know if your wife would agree…but cut all ties if he doesn’t know and REALLY claim the child as your own…did they have a relationship…would this guy want his wife to know about the child? if not maybe you could just say he is yours…I mean he does have a right to know if its his kid but if he doesn’t want the kid maybe he would sign over his parental rights…does he know about the kid? does his wife know? sorry to ask so many questions
Ok you have forgiven her (i think you stupid) but I wouldn’t let her or him of the hook that easy, I would make her file for child support, then I will sue him for allienation of effection that way she will have to show her love and loyalty and it will show her true feelings for him. If you accept this by doing nothing then you condoned it and it will hurt you in the future if things don’t work out.
plus how can you (as a man) put your name on something that is not yours.
yes this other guy no that its his baby…But he is trying to keep this all hush,hush,from his wife b/c his wife will take his kid and leave.Until you been in a something like this you can;t amagine what pain and hurt I’m going through…I just have to ask god to guild me through and to let me make the wise judgement in this matter.
Bring all the truth to light. you did the right thing to forgive but is she worth having as a wife?
I think any man can put his name on a child that wasn’t his and claim him as his own…I was adopted…my adopted father and mother love me very much plus my husband claims his stepdaughter as his own. Whether or not I think it is wise to forgive someone who has cheated…is irrelevant. Eleven years is a long time to be with someone and throw it away…eleven years is also a long time for someone to be unfaithful…be that as it may…lets move to what’s important…It is important for a child to have a loving father as well as someone who wants him/her. If you are willing to be that person then I say have the man (who obviously is more scared of losing his wife and other kid) sign away his parental rights and then move the heck away…that is only my opinion. Best of luck to you I sincerely hope that it works out for you in whatever you choose.
You haven’t mentioned if your wife even wants to stay with you. Are all the problems that contributed to her behavior resolved? If not, what is to stop her from doing the same thing again. In my experience, once someone strays from their marriage vows, it gets easier to do again, and again. You could be putting yourself in a situation to receive more heartache if you take her back.
Unlike women, men don’t forgive so easy especially when it comes to being cheated on. I would suggest you recommend she move out untill you can figure out if all this is worth it because I know there are several thoughts going through your head and how can you clearly think about it if the problem stays in your face all day. You need time to think and since shes the one that cheated she should back off for a minute.
After rereading what you wrote…it appears that you have already decided to keep her in the house and that you are asking what to do about him? I agree that men are not so forgiving when it comes to cheating…I have never cheated before…but I do agree (probably because women are smarter…I so am just kidding everybody!!)
My wife cheated and got pregnant with twins from the man I am suing for AoA (it was on tv), motions for paternity have been filed… While getting ready for the first custody hearing that was postponed due to the twins birth I discovered that my wife had an affair with her boss seven years ago whom she had asked me to train to run the New York City Marathon (1998) with and my 6 year old son was not mine… ( She was 3 months pregnant when he, her, and myself flew to New York to run the marathon…)I wish I would of known back then so I could of left so I wouldn’t be going thru the turmoil I am now…I also will be suing that x Boss / running buddy as well…HOLD PEOPLE ACCOUNTABLE FOR THEIR ACTIONS…
If they do it once, they will do it again, that is what I have learned in my life…Be careful
FATHERDORIGHT is right about alot of things in his writing and I can say you are very if you think that jsut forgiving her is going to work better wake up and smell the world it stinks my did it to me and my children now and my daughter said to me daddy you must be stupid to ever think of taking her back and she is only 13 wow what a day in time we live in. I told my daughter that at one time I was going to but now that piece of S!@# can rot in hell for all I am concerned about do I hate her that is to nice of words think harder and you will find other words that will fit her.
She has ruined her life and tried to do mine but it did not work she is a loser and will always be one. Think very very hard for what you about to do can you ever trust her? does she even LOVE you? if so why then did she do what she did sue the other piece of S!@# and make his life jsut as bad oh yes and tell his wife too I am sure that she would love to know what kind of a piece S!@# she is married to oh I am sure that she will do the same and just forgive him hmmm I do not think so.
Yes if you keep the child he should pay and pay very very much you sound like a nice guy but again think very hard becuse once a cheat always a cheat and a cheat is a loser look it up and you find it I did and mine has lost so much that I can keep on writing but this is it. I hope you do the right thing and I hope you see the light and not get ran over by your wife on this.
Good luck you will need it
Ok everybody…I am not trying to say that it is right or that she won’t do it again…all I am asking is that part of the question?..I mean it looked like to me that he had already MADE that decision and wanted help on what to do about him
If you are going to forgive her and take her back(“STUPID”)then thats your choice but this man can be a part of your lives forever if he wants because you both have a common interest. Put the shoes on the other foot, if it was you what you think would have happened, you probably would have been put out the house, paying child support, spousal support and still paying all the bills and she would have made you get rid of your lover plus she would have wanted to see and hear it for herself for her own satisfaction(then she would have kick your ass out) but you do whats in your heart.
You sound like a man that reads the bible and believes it very much I do maybe not as much as I should and no where as good as you but isnt what she did a SIN in god eyes? How can this sinner be able to look up in the eyes and say anything that would mean anything to be true? This is not easy to do is it not? She used you and know she wants something else what I so not know but be very careful looks like you maybe looking in the house from the outside what I mean is you may not be living there much longer she will have you removed from the house. It almost happened to me but she left before I did and now she is (in nice words) screwed [:D] and I have no problems with that she is getting what she deserves nothing and good for her.
I hope you do alot of thinking before it turns into something very very messy
Again good luck
the bible also teaches to forgive and to leave judging to God…Now just because he forgives her doesn’t mean that he should have to take her in his home…but the wedding vows also say til death do us part…I am not trying to advocate for what she did…really I think it is wrong but I can understand where the guy is coming from. I do have a really good friend who cheated once and that was it…the reality of losing her family was enough…although not common it does happen
What about morals, ethics ands family values. What are we showing our children thats its ok to screw around and who cares about the vows who cares about the husband and wife deals is this what our life is all about now nothing to show children whats right and wrong.
Is it wrong of what she has done you are very right! But this is between his I hope soon to be ex wife and him oh but there is something else a soon to be new born lets not forget this little person how will this person know from rigth and wrong my mommy and daddy did it.
The whole thing stinks and this poor guy is stuck in the middle of a cheating wife and a piece of S!@# of a man that needs to pay and you would not even think that I would not tell his wife you bet I would she should know that is only right for her she is part of this as well to hide this is wrong on both sides. Yes it is going to be bad but that life sorry.
Ok - This is just getting to be a waste of space.
The wife cheated with a married man and is now going to have his baby. He obviously isn’t interested in her and the baby anymore since he already has a family. They just wanted to play, but now an innocent baby is going to pay the price.
She obviously is begging for forgiveness at this point because the married man will not have anything to do with her anymore. So where else has she to go? This isn’t love, this is her realizing that she is stuck and needs to go to the one person that does has a strong emotional tie to her and hope that he will forgive her. She is manipulating him.
Minsterlittle needs to wake up and see his wife for what she is, does he really believe that she would have come crawling back had she not been rejected by the married father of her baby?
He needs to now protect himself and his kids, both emotionally and financially.
Sounds like something I said, but we all are on the outside looking in. Minsterlittle follow you GUT feeling not your heart.
I been with my wife for 11 years…she dicided I wasn’t making her happy so she seek other relationship…I love my wife,and i try to tell her lets make thing work out. but she keep telling me it was over. But now she just found out that she was consumed…she came to me and told me she was sorry for hurting me…I told told she should keep the baby.B/C she would never be forgiving that…and this guy was married and has a child…But now I don’t know was to do about this mess…I need some legal advice to help me What can I do about Him…I still love my wife with all my heart and don’t want to put her out of the house…