Need Advice


Dear ahs225:

Greetings. I have a couple of ideas for you to become on the “offensive” versus the “defensive” or to at least not keep being beat down.

First, this is not going to start until she gets more money from your spouse, which she will get. Yes, all her “income” should be counted in the guidelines (if we are using NC law).

Next, have your attorney file a Motion to Show Cause against her if the custody action is through the court. If the custody action is by agreement, simply refuse to take her to the events Mom sets up, unless you have agreed ahead of time. Send her letters EVERY SINGLE TIME (and one today also) saying that you do not agree to her enrolling the child in any extracurricular activities without your prior consent as time with Dad is more important than any activity. If she refuses to allow you to see the child, file a custody claim and/or a breach of contract claim or motion to show cause. Her lack of moral compass combined with her disregard for your husband’s needed time with his child may be enough to get more time, if not the majority of time with the child.

Finally, have your attorney file a Motion for Protective Order and Request for Sanctions against this second attorney, since you have previously provided said information. Best of luck.

Janet L. Fritts
Attorney with Rosen Divorce
4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.


I feel my husband’s ex-wife is trying to harrass us using the legal system. We have a great attorney but seem to be having to provide the same information to her over and over again. Please advise on how we could possibly put an end to this. The circumstances are as follows:

-Ex-wife filed for a modification of child support in June of 2003 (yes we’re still going at this).

-We have a recorded phone conversation in January of 2003 where my husband confronted her about his disapproval of her relationship with a married man and his daughter being involved in it. During the conversation she states that she is going to “attack his life” because he is getting into her business.

-My husband has always paid support on time for the 10 years they have been divorced. There is one child from the marriage and the original support amount was based on ex-wife not working, however she has been employed for 9 of the 10 years.

  • Ex-wife is dating her employer/married man (we have proof of this) who provides her with a convertible mercedes though his business, pays her a salary even though she doesn’t work, put $85,000 down on a condo for her and pays at least half of her monthly living expenses (she admitted to this in a deposition even though we see no evidence of her paying anything). I would assume all this should be included in her income for child support purposes as the guidelines state “alimony or maintenance” should be included. Wouldn’t these things be considered maintenance?

-Ex-wife has changed attorneys (we suspect that she has not paid the last one). We produced all documents pertaining to my husbands company and finances, 3 years checking statements, tax returns, etc. at a deposition with the 1st attorney in December 2003 where my husband was drilled with questions for over 4 hours. There is no way to hide income in the business because all transactions where we receive money is through credit card transactions (online business). All findings in the deposition were supported by documentation.

-Ex-wife insists that my husband agreed to pay 100% of daughter’s medical expenses even though the agreement on file says nothing about this and she cannot produce a signed, filed agreement that does. She has a copy of an agreement that he didn’t agree to that states this but there are about 50 proposals she could pull pages from.

-She now has a new attorney that is insisting we start right back at the beginning and produce all the documents we produced last December.

-Ex-wife is now manipulating the visitation schedule with extra-curricular activities scheduled for the child in Greenville, SC (we’re in Charlotte) on all the weekends my husband is to have visitation. She tells him he either has to take her to them or she must stay at home to attend them.

I guess my question is this, is there anyway to end the merry go round, I realize she is entitled to revisit child support but how many times should we have to produce the same documents and answer the same questions? How can we handle the problem with visitation where we can have weekends with his daughter without ex-wife interfering? I feel that she will keep this case open just so she can harrass us yearly with the whole deposition thing, and continue to manipulate visitation as long as she can.

Thanks for your help!