Need help with what to ask for


#1

My husband and I are seperated and have been for about 2 months. I left due to his drinking problem and affair. I am living with my mother in Durham but our marital home is in Charlotte. I am a stay at home mom but I am trying to find a part time job and I will be going back to school starting next week. As much as it may be warrented, I do not want to “take him to the cleaners” I am a very passive non confrontational person and would like to do this in as much of an amicable way as possible. In that respect I have been to a couple lawyers one here in durham that recommended my husband and I come up with an agreement together and bring it to her to draw up. She gave me a budget form which to me is very confusing. My husband and I agreed to seperate for now and he asked me to send him what I wanted and that is where my problem lies. My husband makes approx $110/yr and we did not have a lot of debt, in the house he just has the house payment, utilities, insurance and whatever house projects he wants done. I want to get a townhome to rent for the kids and I. The ones I have found are around $900/month 1 that does not include utilities one that does. I know child support is a set formula in which case he would owe around 2k each month for both kids. The things I want to ask him for are as follows…half of savings, some furniture that was mine before the marriage, some kitchen items, a couple of furniture items that we obtained during the marriage…a spare mattress,the dining room table and chairs and the washer/dryer, of course the remainder of my clothing and the kids and their furniture, for him to sign over my cell phone contract…it is in his name, sign over a car title…both are paid off but one is in both of our names and the other in his only, then the last is alimony…I dont know what to ask for. I would like for him to pay the rent of the townhome until I can get out of school (the program is only 21 months) and get a job. I wasnt going to ask for anything more, ie half his retirement or anything, I was even going to take my cell bill and even car insurance bill. I was going to ask he keep me on his health insurance. But I dont know if he will battle that amount due to what he would owe me in child support. I dont want to be ugly but he can afford it, he has spent approx 10k over the last year of our money at Hooters where he is having an affair with one of the bartenters. There have been eyewitnesses who have seen him take her to our home and stay there, also those who have seen him with her, there is a photo of the two of them on the internet and he has even taken her on travels with him. So the proof of the affair and drinking problem isnt going to be hard. I just dont know what I should ask for or entitled to? I need help and once we have decided what should I do? What would be the cheapest? I dont want to keep him from his kids and I am willing flexible in visitation. What do I do as far as determining CS? Do we just say he will pay it and the courts determine how much? I am confused. I have been with him for 15 years and married for 7. Any advice you have is greatly appreciate it.


#2

I cannot tell you what to ask for as far as amount of alimony outside of the scope of traditional representation.

To do this on your own, you will need to create a budget and account for all of your expenses to determine what your needs are. You must also account for the fact that all alimony you receive is subject to taxation and to account for that in your demand.

CS is determined according to the NC Child Support Guidelines. There is a calculator on this site you may use to verify your estimates of CS.

The best advice I can give you is to retain a lawyer to represent you. It is imperative that you receive what you are entitled to so that you can provide for yourself and for the children. Hiring a lawyer does not mean you cannot resolve the case in an amicable manner, it just ensures that you are armed with the knowledge you need to assert your rights.