Need help yesterday

I know the deal with the antique guns may seem kind of petty to you all but I can’t trust him to make sure the money from any sale would go directly to our daughters college fund. He has already taken half of what we invested in mutual funds in her name stating that she is a minor and our names are on the account too and he deserved half of the money. We sunk every penny we had into these stupid guns with the promise that they would double in price if not more in less than 5 years and you all must think we are pretty much set money wise but I’m not. I am a phlebotomist making only $11/hr while he is collecting his military pay at an E6, and working 6 days a week 10 hour days for $10 per hour while he seperates from the military. We’ve been together and I have emotionally supported him for 22 years total, being married almost 18 of those years Never once even thought of cheating on him, and thought we had a pretty good marriage even with all the time he spent overseas. Yes we had our issues, but nothing major just little things like house repairs when he was home that never seemed to get done because he didn’t want to work on his “down time”

Dedicated to spouse and country for over 17 years

I have even went as far to suggest that a third impartial party sell the antiques and deposit the proceeds in our daughters account that is only under her name.

Dedicated to spouse and country for over 17 years

I don’t have much advice for you, but can definitely tell you that you need an attorney experienced in military divorce. I have a friend who divorced after her husband retired and was receiving a pension. She was entitled to half his pension payments and military medical coverage on top of the child support.

Military divorce is not the same us for the rest of us.

I do know a very good atty. with this experience in Charlotte - Ted Shapack.

Personally, I would not let him take anything else from the marital home until equitable distribution has been determined. That also means you can not dispose of any assets and should keep careful records.

Well, he came and took the wepons. I did have a chance to photograph them all for condition, markings, serial numbers, and ect. I retained all the reciepts for them. (He thinks I got rid of them years ago.) Then I ask a neighbor to video tape him removing them from the home. On video I got him to state that I owned everything else with the exception of the items we had agreed upon prior to him leaving. (the large furniture items that I ask stay till I could replace them) It was the best that I could think of in the short time given, without having him arrested in front of our 15 year old. She has been through enough and I didn’t want to put her through that too.

Dedicated to spouse and country for over 17 years

  1. If he has left you without the means to support yourself and he left the home without provocation that can be considered abandonment.

  2. Since he has left the residence you can change the locks and tell him not to come back, that will prevent him from being able to come into the house and remove the property. The verbal agreement is not binding, the only thing that would be binding is a written notarized agreement.

  3. The property he left behind is not abandoned, it is still marital property and all of your marital property will generally be divided equally.

P.S. Please feel free to bring up this or any other topic on our live call-in show every Wednesday at 11:00 a.m. EST. Visit for details

Helena M. Nevicosi
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm

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Here is the 411 short version. My STBX sent me an email while deployed stating that he considered the year in Iraq as a trial seperation and that when he came home we needed to work on our marriage. This came as a shock to me being as we were getting along so well before he left, going to lunch driving to and from work together, increased marital relations and such. When he arrived home from a year tour in Iraq lived in the marital home for 4 months and moved out of our shared bedroom and informed me he would be moving within days of his retirement. Two days after his retirement he packed all that he wanted from the home, made arrangemet for several lg pieces of furniture that he wanted to stay in the house till I could find replacements for them. I was told that the 11 antique guns that were left behind were to be sold and used for our 15 year olds college fund I was told this before he moved in with his mother and stepdad and after. Now he wants the antique guns along with several other items of large value with out having to suplement our daughters college fund for them. He already has taken what he brought into the marriage and there isn’t a ED order or seperation agreement, he is paying child support but wants me to agree to only $400 per month, took half of the bank accounts and wants 60% of the house and marital assets even though I was totally faithful and supportive of him and his carreer for 17+ years. He left without a forwarding address or phone number. I only work part time and his military pay is still going into our joint checking from which he making withdrawls.

Question 1 Is this considered abandonment?

Qusetion 2 being as there was a verbal agreement to sell the antiques can he remove them from the marital property?

Question 4 att. suggests that anything left behind is abandon property is this true?

Question 5 How can I stop this from happening again if he takes them and then comes back for more at a later time.

My lawyer is out of town for the next 2 weeks and is unreachable Please help

Dedicated to spouse and country for over 17 years