Need suggestions

There are other options:

  1. Mediation
  2. Collaborative Law
  3. Schools for kids with social needs, like the Milton Hershey School.

Is there any relationship with the mother at all? In order for mediation to work, you would have to be able to offer something that she needs in exchange for what is best for your child. Some mediators work on a sliding scale so you might be able to do this for less than $300/session and in as little as one or two sessions, depending on whether your mediator assigns homework.

Collaborative law involves an attorney but not litigation. Again, do you have anything that you can offer as a carrot to get her to participate?

The social service people might be able to help you suggest the special school option to your spouse. This is a residential school where the children live in a same sex home with a houseparent couple. Boys & Girls Town (in the Midwest) is similar. Milton Hershey School has children from all over the US and Puerto Rico. Children must be three or older to attend. You and your spouse can have visitation and vacations. The carrot is:
They provide food, clothing, medical, etc. for your child until graduation. They provide a full college scholarship and a laptop commuter plus a Senior suitcase (what you need for college dorm living). Your children would live with other children who deal with issues of addiction in their biological family.

I too hoped to decide child custody with my STBX without litigation. We were not successful because he has money and a hungry attorney. I really admire those in the legal profession who are pursuing Collaborative Law. But we live in a broken world and there is still a need for litigation.

May you and your children find peace.

So sorry!!! I just read your other posts and realized that you have tried mediation. I am so sorry to have rubbed salt in the wound!

I would suggest that you try option #3. With your daughter’s medical situation this could be a win-win for everyone.

Custody trials are involved and require a lot of time and effort to prepare. That is the reason for the cost. If you cannot afford an attorney you could try to contact legal aid and see if you qualify for their assistance.

Helena M. Nevicosi
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm

4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.787.6361 main fax

Charlotte Office
301 McCullough Drive
Suite 510
Charlotte, NC 28262
Main Phone: (704)307.4600
Main Fax: (704) 9343.0044

Durham & Chapel Hill Office
1829 East Franklin Street
Building 600
Chapel Hill, NC 27514
(919) 321.0780


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I have posted several times before. My child lives with her mother who abuses drugs and alcohol and doesn’t provide adequate medical care (social services has been involved). My current wife and I vistied an attorney and it will cost us $13,000-$15,000 to even get to the court room. Although the attorney says that we will most likely get full custody, I don’t know how we can bear the expense of the attorney. We have called many attorneys, and it seems like everyone charges this month. Is there any way to get an attorney appointed or something…??? It is ridiculous that it costs this much to guarantee a child’s safety.