New Twist --- Holding out Hope --


If his ex can demonstrate her medical condition with objective information from her doctor, the judge will certainly consider a medical opinion about whether ex’s condition limits her ability to work. A court would consider a spouse’s ability to earn at any job, not just the prior retail position. It would not be unreasonable to ask that the court require the ex to keep them informed of her employment situation as you suggested. Your attorney may make this request as a means of adjusting child support should she return to work.

About the driving for visitation purposes. Again, if his ex demonstrates her medical condition, with objective information, such as a medical opinion concerning ex’s limitations, this may be enough to put the burden on your husband for transportation. No, it is not likely a court would otherwise restrict the ex’s ability to drive. Of course, should the ex be able to drive similar distances, it would be relevant to her ability to contribute to helping with transportation for visitation purposes. Hope I have answered your questions.

Deborah M. Throm
Rosen Law Firm
1829 E. Franklin Street, Bldg. 600
Chapel Hill, NC 27514
919.265.0017 direct
919.321.0780 main voice

4101 Lake Boone Trail
Suite 500
Raleigh, NC 27607
919.256.1544 direct
919.787.6668 main voice

301 McCullough Drive
Suite 510
Charlotte, NC 28262
704.644.2531 ext. 100


Rosen Law Team,

THANKS again for taking the time to read/reply to my numerous questions. My husband and I have been discussing this issue and this is more a curiosity question than anything, but it directly relates to our situation. When you have time and have answered all the more pressing posts, I would be interested in hearing your take on it.

EX has decided to stop working stating her feet hurt her so bad she can’t stand anymore (she is working retail – underemployed in our opinion seeing as she has a BA degree in management … long story) Up until this point her excuses for not meeting us half way and everything else she hasn’t wanted to compromise and meet half way on has been because of her degenerative arthritis in her knees. Now she is claiming it has progressed to her feet. Nothing, in our opinion, is stopping her from getting a desk/administrative job or something outside of retail, but she wont do that because then she will be forced into a set schedule which will make her look bad because she will not be able to devote an EXTREME number of hours each week/month volunteering.

Two questions:

  1. If the judge decides to agree with her and her medical conditions, is there any recourse we have when she returns to work other than petitioning the court to readjust child support (which wouldn’t work because what she makes would not make the 15% required for adjustment)? My prediction is that if the judge takes it into consideration, she will think she has won and within 2-3 months she will be back to work. My hope is an order can be issued that when/if she returns to work that c/s will automatically be adjusted or maybe have her keep the court abreast of her employment for a year or so. I hope for something that will trigger her mind to fess up and not let her games win in court.
  2. If the judge tells us that we have to drive the 3.5 hours each way to pick the boys up or even just one way because of her supposed medical issues, is there anyway to restrict her driving through a court order? She has complained about the medical issues all along, but when it is time for her to vacation etc, she is more than capable of driving. The only problem she has driving is when it requires her to relieve some stress/time for us. I know we can request a deviation regarding c/s if we are required to provide all or more the half of the transportation, but life would be so much easier on all of us (except her) if she would have to meet us both ways. I think our lawyer has a good handle on this, but we know it is all up to the judge and how she sees it.

On a side note, in the next couple of weeks we may finally get our day in court. We are keeping our fingers crossed and praying for the best.

Thanks for any input you may have.