Overriding Grandmother

Realistically, there is nothing that you can do about this.

If you share joint custody then these incidents are happening during your ex’s custodial time. The child is not being harmed or neglected. There is nothing illegal about cutting a child’s hair or giving them a bottle. Your ex and his family probably do not care about your wishes and writing them a letter to let them know you are upset will not make them care.
You have expressed your concern and I suggest you let this go. It seems obvious that they are going to do what they want and they do not legally have to ask your permission.

These issues are certainly frustrating, but legally there is not much that can be done about these issues.

Helena M. Nevicosi
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm

4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
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Me and my ex hus have shared custody (1 week on / 1 week off). I have been very fair with this for the past 2 years. Our daughter is 5 yrs old and spends at least 2 nights with her grandmother each time she is supposed to be with her father. There are several occasions when she comes back to me with her hair cut. Her grandmother is not licensed to cut hair and this last time she ended up cutting way too much off in my opinion. Not once have I been asked if these homemade haircuts are okay with me, but I have continually expressed to my ex-hus to get his mom to stop cutting her hair without permission. She’s even commented to my daughter that she “doesn’t care what her mommy wants.” Also, my daughter has mentioned, on several different occasions, of being given a baby’s bottle at her grandmother’s house. I definately DO NOT agree with this choice for many obvious reasons… my daughter is 5 years old, not 5 months old! Again, I have expressed to my ex-hus to tell his mom to stop with the bottle. He blows the issue off, saying that he’s not seen her with a bottle. I need to know exactly what can be done concerning these issues, legally, because I can not stop them from happening without my ex’s cooperation. I thought of writing a letter and keeping a copy for future reference if needed. I do have an attorney, but would like any advice given. Remember, I want to be fair, but I don’t want my wishes overlooked in the process. Thanks.