# Please Help! **URL:** \ **Category:** Divorce and Separation Answers\ **Created:** [October 2, 2008, 1:27pm UTC](https://forum.rosen.com/t/please-help/6579 "2008-10-02T13:27:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 7\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![LTP](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/6bbea6/32.png) [@LTP](https://forum.rosen.com/u/LTP)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2008, 1:27pm UTC](https://forum.rosen.com/t/please-help/6579/1 "2008-10-02T13:27:29Z")
I have been advised that attorneys are not allowed at mediation; however, attorneys I have spoken with tell me not to go without an attorney because my ex filed allegations against me. I’m confused. Does anyone have experience in mediation sessions? ---
**Author:** ![athos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f1d935/32.png) [@athos](https://forum.rosen.com/u/athos)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2008, 2:32pm UTC](https://forum.rosen.com/t/please-help/6579/2 "2008-10-02T14:32:59Z")
My understanding is that mediation can be one of two things: court-ordered or a decision by the two of you to undertake mediation. If it is the latter, then yes, you can and should bring your own attorney to help make decisions in your best interest. ---
**Author:** ![LTP](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/6bbea6/32.png) [@LTP](https://forum.rosen.com/u/LTP)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2008, 3:00pm UTC](https://forum.rosen.com/t/please-help/6579/3 "2008-10-02T15:00:29Z")
This is apparently court ordered. I received papers that said I should be there, delivered by law enforcement. My ex and I can barely speak without arguing. He has accused me of several things, including alcoholism … and he drinks more than I was. I say “was” because I am no longer drinking at all. So if court ordered mediation, then attorneys are NOT allowed. Is this correct? ---
**Author:** ![wishingphoenix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/eb9ed0/32.png) [@wishingphoenix](https://forum.rosen.com/u/wishingphoenix)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2008, 6:49am UTC](https://forum.rosen.com/t/please-help/6579/4 "2008-10-03T06:49:03Z")
You have to go to mediation! Attorney’s do not attend. All it is - is an attempt to come to an agreement. They forward a report to what happens to the court. So… attend, be on your BEST behavior, attempt to come to an agreement, let him appear to be the unmoving individual. In the mean time find a lawyer prior to your court date and when you find one, they can put in a motion for a delay based off of preparing for court/new counsel. I attended, my ex did not and he was show caused by the judge for contenpt of court by not showing up. So… make SURE you attend! You don’t need a contempt charge if your ex is already throwing “hand-grenades” at you. ---
**Author:** ![LTP](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/6bbea6/32.png) [@LTP](https://forum.rosen.com/u/LTP)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2008, 12:31pm UTC](https://forum.rosen.com/t/please-help/6579/5 "2008-10-07T12:31:09Z")
I just wanted to thank those of you who answered my plea for help. It helped to know that attorneys are not involved in court ordered mediation. I went to the orientation/co-parenting session, and the actual mediation is soon. I feel there is probably a 10% chance that we could settle in mediation. Not very good I’d say. I’m still working on getting an attorney that I can afford, which isn’t much. Legal Aid says they won’t take a custody case. I’m still looking, but I am likely to wait until mediation fails before I hire one. I can’t afford it to begin with, and if by some chance it does get settled during mediation, I will have wasted money I don’t have. Thank you very much again. ---
**Author:** ![LTP](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/6bbea6/32.png) [@LTP](https://forum.rosen.com/u/LTP)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2008, 10:57am UTC](https://forum.rosen.com/t/please-help/6579/6 "2008-10-02T10:57:45Z")
Mediation in child custody hearing is Monday. I have been trying for two weeks to get an attorney, waiting on Legal Aid to make a decision about whether to take my case. I finally found out yesterday that they will not take my case, as they don’t do custody cases now. They couldn’t tell me that two weeks ago??? Anyway, my question is … Is it too late to have mediation postponed??? The case is too nasty to go to without representation. What can I do? I have been trying to get in touch with other attorneys that I have spoken with. So far no one has called me back. Thanks for your help. ---
**Author:** ![raebiggs](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/4bbf92/32.png) [@raebiggs](https://forum.rosen.com/u/raebiggs)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2009, 1:06pm UTC](https://forum.rosen.com/t/please-help/6579/7 "2009-06-20T13:06:45Z")
why won’t legal aid take on custody cases? is this north carolina wide?