If you both have been living in separate residences from 2004 your date of separation is in 2004 and you will need to prove that in court. The statute does not prohibit a spouse from receiving alimony after living separate and apart for any specific length of time, but it is pretty strong evidence that your spouse is not dependant if he has been living on his own for 5 years without seeking support.
The statute does address sexual intercourse, and states that isolated incidents of the same are not considered a reconciliation if, by the totality of the circumstances it could not be gleaned that the parties reconciled.