Preschooler and Overnight


#1

Hi,

I surfed the net and found your website with the following comment.
‘Generally speaking, preschoolers do best with shorter, more frequent contact, often not involving overnights.’

I would like to know whether you have more examples or links to research on pre-schoolers and overnight stay. As you could guessed, I am a single mother with a pre-schooler child. I am representing myself in court (no lawyer) because I strongly believe that preschoolers need stability and routine and overnight stay is too disruptive for them. I would prefer an alternate day i.e Tues, Thurs and Saturday access from his father instead. However, there is no support for my thinking until I came across your website. So if you could provide me with some examples/research/studies to come up with that comment, I would really appreciate it.,

Thank you. ( by the way, I am in New Zealand and fighting against the New Zealand law myself. I am a Chinese, not born in New Zealand so the whole western culture law is still very foreign to me.)


#2

I am sorry, but I do not know the comment you are referring to. Was that a comment from this forum? I can say that generally speaking, overnight visits are allowed in NC for preschool aged children. I cannot say what may be the norm in New Zealand courts.


#3

It was found in your website. I will paste the link here. http://www.rosen.com/childcustody/carticles/children-and-divorce/
And that comment is under Livable living arrangements
I will also cut and paste the section here
[i]Remember that children’s needs change as they get older. A plan that works great when a child is three years old may be totally ineffective when she is eight, and a still different plan may be needed when she is 16.

Generally speaking, preschoolers do best with shorter, more frequent contact, often not involving overnights.

Elementary-school age children respond well to somewhat less frequent contacts of longer duration, including weekends, overnights, and longer times during vacations. (It is among this age children that the “classic” post-divorce arrangement of living with one parent and spending every other weekend along with a mid-week visit with the other parent is probably best suited.)[/i]

So according to your website, you support more frequent visits for pre-schooler and as you put it “OFTEN NOT INVOLVING OVERNIGHTS”. Could I get the lawyer who wrote this to give me her view when she wrote that? That would be really helpful as I have put it, I am representing myself so any links/research I could present to court to support NO OVERNIGHT for pre-schoolers will be great.


#4

What you are asking for is beyond the scope of the forum. The article is for general education purposes, if you need specific advice you need to arrange for a consult.


#5

As I am in New Zealand, I am unable to arrange for a consult. I could give my e-mail address so that the links/research material that support that comment could be sent to me and I could compile it to submit to the Family Court in NZ.