My wife threw me out of the house on December 1 ,2011. She accused me of cheating on her after finding me talking to a coworker on Facebook. We were married for 5 years, and have 3 small children twin boys 13 months old and a three yr old girl.
Background: When my wife and I were engaged she told me she wanted to move to her decedent grandmother’s home which her mother wanted to sell us for a nominal 25,000 dollars. I agreed and moved to Bladen county about 8 months before we were married, started paying her Mother 416 dollars a month for a period of 5 yrs. As soon as I moved there the plan was for me to remodel the home which I began immediately. Over the 6 year span I completely redid 6 of the 8 rooms in the home from the hardwood flooring to rewiring and sheetrock etc complete remodel, windows, insulation crown molding paint. Through the 5 years my wife and I got into violent arguments regularly, especially after we had children. These fights ended in her striking me with a closed fist or open hand in the face or head on at least 4 occasions. I did not notify police and I did not lift a hand to her ( I pushed her away once). This generally ended in me staying in a hotel for a night and returning. A few weeks before I was thrown out she hit me one last time and I left for a night. She threw me out that morning from home, her step father changed the locks. I stayed in a hotel and secured a place to rent after discussing things with her over the phone, telling her I wanted to work it out. She said she couldnt trust me. etc. I rented a small home close to them so I could see the kids. Not long after I started going over to see the children and gather some things, I paid 600 dollars a month child support, and an additional 350 a month for their health insurance including the wife. I told her initially I didnt want to split anything up, for her to keep all the furniture, I didnt want to hire a lawyer I would pay for her health insurance until we were divorced. So I have honored my promises and continue to get a child or two at a time once a week for overnights but I have no furniture and I have no extra money to set up a proper home for them and my wife continues to threaten me with lawyers and that I will have to take all 3 children for a week or two at a time. Im an RN and I work night shift 12 hour shifts. There is no way I could get them to daycare and pick them up on my work days which are also not self scheduled but determined by my mgr. She is a physical therapist and makes at least 20-30k more than I do a year. She works home health and is able to schedule her visits 5 days a week. She is surrounded literally by family inc her mother that assist daily with the children. I have no support system here in this town where we live. I want to see my kids as often as I can but as the 2 boys are 1 yr old and they require alot more than I can offer them for extended visits. My little girl is different, All three at once with my schedule is not doable at their ages. Lastly I did not have an affair with a coworker, I was home with my wife every time I was not working unless she hit me and I left to stay in a hotel.
Questions are: With a verbal agreement b/w her mom and the two of us for the home for 25,000 do I have a steak in the home or what I paid for it over the 5 years before I was removed from the home?
Do I have a right to make her pay for the improvements I did to the home or a share of it
Can she make me take all three children for extended periods of time, interfering with my schedule for work and ability to provide.
Do I have grounds against her for physical violence against me?
Thanks in advance.