Rights to the house after Divorce

My ex husband feels because his name is primary on the deed and because his name is primary on the loan, that he may come into my home and do whatever he feels necessary. I have asked him to drop our son off at the door and pick our son up at the door, but he insists he can come in and go upstairs and do whatever he needs to do. The problem I have with him coming in is that he is condescending to me as a parent and feels he must control every aspect of life. He tells me what to do and criticizes everything I do. He also says that my thirteen year old may not get our five year old from the bus stop to walk him to the sitter, but that the sitter must pick our child up from the bus stop. He also insists that the thirteen year old is never to babysit the five year. This man is Military and in control every where he goes on base, but it is to the point of interference. What are his rights and my rights concerning the home and the decisions. It is in our divorce papers that I will reside in the home and in August of 2011 I will get the chance to refinance in my name alone or he may refinance in his name alone. The situation of divorce is that he came home from deployment and left the marital home. We solved all issues without stepping foot in the courtroom, yet he is bullying me where the raising of our child is concerned, which I find highly offensive as I am the one that raised our son alone for the entire five years since Dad was deployed or gone the majority of the time. Any advice would be greatly appreciated and as for the laws about him coming in the home, I need to know what his rights are so I can solve the issue of him walking through the house as he pleases. Thank you.

He is not allowed to enter the residence without your permission. His name begin on the deed is not relevant. If you reside in the home and he has another residence he may not enter the home.
As for the parenting issues, you have the right to make day to day decisions when the children are in your care, and do not have to abide by his rules.