Separation and dating

Seperation date is the date he moved out of the house… STOP letting him stay over “sometimes”. Change your locks… there is no reason for him to have access to your house. If you have children, the children should have keys to access (within age reason)but should not give him access to the keys. There is no reason for your ex to move forward with a seperation / divorce because he has the best of both worlds. If you want to begin dating and have seperated, there should be no restrictions from your STBX unless it involves your child(ren)'s welfare.

If he comes and goes and is not spending the night then your date of separation is the date he stopped living in the home. If he has spent the night, then the date of separation is the last night that he slept there. If he stays at your home sometimes that will definitely affect the date of separation.

If you do not wish for him to continue to return to the residence you can tell him that you do not wish for him to return and change the locks.

Dating while separated is generally ok, however a sexual relationship is criminal until the date you have been divorced. If you have an alimony claim or are worried about a potential lawsuit for alienation of affection you should wait until you are divorced to date, or at least until you have had a consultation with an attorney.

Helena M. Nevicosi
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm

4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.787.6361 main fax

Charlotte Office
301 McCullough Drive
Suite 510
Charlotte, NC 28262
Main Phone: (704)307.4600
Main Fax: (704) 9343.0044

Durham & Chapel Hill Office
1829 East Franklin Street
Building 600
Chapel Hill, NC 27514
(919) 321.0780


The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service only, a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action. The information posted on this forum is available for public viewing and is not intended to create an attorney client relationship with any individual. These answers are provided for informational purposes only, a person should consult with their own individual legal counsel before taking any action that could affect their legal rights or obligations.

Brief summary-husband had an affair, which I suspected and finally confirmed last summer (I have email proof from May 07). We tried to work things out, but can’t seem to make it work. He signed a lease at the beginning of Nov, but continues to come and go as he chooses (we own a home, which I am staying at with our daughter). Several questions:
1-What would the official separation date be (May or Nov)?
2-Does it impact our separtion that he stays at our home sometimes?
3-I am ready to move on and date others. Can I do this legally? I have not been involved with anyone prior to our separation.