Separation as a Solution?


#1

My wife and I have only been married for (2) years,…but have been together for approx. (8). I say approximately b/c while dating we broke up twice (on her accord) b/c she felt ‘smothered’. Each time though coincided with a period in her life when she found something new to be entertained by,…jobs, friends, whatever. Each of those times she eventually reconnected with me. Usually it was after a period of time when she had seen I have moved on emotionally

To add to the difficulty in this is she has a 10 yr old son that I have helped raise since he was 2.5 yrs. I love him and consider him my own.

Now we are married,…her carreer is taking her away from the home and her son and I have been left to cope. It’s corporate,…so there golf tournaments,…late dinners,…company parties. All of which have not included us. She has seen the frustration and distrust in both of us and doesn’t even want to come home when it’s time.

So now, she has indicated after (4) months of difficulty that she can’t work this out for herself under the same roof as me. This is insane to me. She’s making a commitment to an apartment, getting the separation papers together (at my request), and has made it clear she will help financially until our house is sold. Yet,…she still says that this is to try and ‘work things out’.

I am stuck b/w being additionally patient and waiting for her to make a concrete decision,…or making the decision to call this ‘the end’(which I don’t know if I have the guts to do). I’ve gone to a councelor separately (b/c she wouldn’t go),…I’ve read the self-help books,…I’ve spoken with my close friends…and I still go to bed and wake up miserable each day.

I love my wife, and am willing to support her throughout all of her troubles,…but she hasn’t tried any of my suggestions (speak with a coucelor, read some books, talk with your friends,…talk to me)and shuns any of my assistance. How can separation (in this instance) possibly be the right solution? Or rather,…am I simply being entirely too naive and understand that she’s given me the signs,…she just can’t say it’s officially over.

Any and all suggestions are welcome. I really want to start feeling better one way or another. Did I mention…Christmas is simply a wonderful time for all of this?

I’m confused, frustrated, sad, angry, and feeling alone.