Ok, not sure if I bought myself some time, or he’s not conniving behind my back to get his own lawyer, but here is what the offer is:
I get sole custody. He will get visitation every other weekend, trade off holidays, and a month during the summer.
I get everything in the house.
I get our timeshare.
We use $7,000 in cds to get me a car.
We sell our house. He pays off the truck. I use mine to pay off my car (if necessary)
The last of the credit card debt is paid off with the bank account.
He gives me $500/month child support for the 2 girls (ages 1 and 2). He said this can be adjusted later as necessary.
He keeps everyone on his medical insurance.
He makes roughly $100,000 a year. I need to get a job.
He will help me find a place to buy. Not sure how that works if we are not officially divorced though.
I know he is not a lawyer, and looking out to protect himself. However, I am terrified of losing my girls (meaning he has joint custody or more visitation that stated above). I think getting that in writing now would be harder for him to fight to change later.
As far as money - I think the child support is low, and that I deserve alimony. However, if I get lawyers involved, I fear that 1) they will tell us each what we want to hear and cause us to go all the way to court, and then 2) we will waste more in lawyer fees because he will be stupid enough to fight, and 3) that puts custody back on the table and I have no guarantee a judge would not award him more. Also, he would not help me get a car or pay off the debt, and then I’d have that to deal with on top of having to get a job and a place to live. It’s easy for a lawyer to say he can’t abandon me, etc, but he could make it VERY difficult for me being that everything is in my name. I feel like I’m faced with gambling my kids & possibly more money, or taking less now and walking away with my kids and still being able to have his help.
Having talked to 2 attorneys now, I am not convinced that that is such a terrible deal (for me). Is it good for him? Of course. Do I think he’s an ass? Yes. But unfortunately he’s going to be part of my life for a very long time, and I would rather have him on my side than against me.
Please tell me your opinions. I am in a bad place right now.