Should i have children live with father to earn their respec

My husband left me and my children last October. We do not have separation papers. However I have been the primary caregiver for the children. He moved four hours away and rarely sees the children unless I make it a point to get them to him and pick them up. The children are both teenagers. They have become very disrespectful toward me even though they know i am the one doing everything for them. He does not pay child support. I am currently fighting for the child support. He is an alcoholic and also does drugs. His living situation makes things very difficult for me and my children. He is currently living with sister’s daughter as a couple. Which had put alot of strain on my relationship with my family. However it is what it is.

My question is seeing the kids have no respect for me i have been thinking of taking them to their father and letting them live with him to maybe open their eyes to the reality of life would be like with him and without me. If i do have them go live with him for a while will this reflect on my character when we do begin divorce proceedings? I do not believe the children will want to live in this situation and will want to return home with me, however i deserve their respect and not sure what to do to get it. Please know i do not want to do this due to the situation he lives in however i am at my wits end. Please help!

This question doesn’t invoke a legal issue. If you, as a parent, think your children will gain something from living with your husband then there is nothing preventing you from doing so. To learn about how child custody works, and the factors a judge would consider I would reference our article on Child Custody. This is a rather comprehensive article, but will shed some light on the custody issue. Keep in mind if you voluntarily let your children live with your husband, any subsequent argument to a judge that he is an unfit parent or shouldn’t have custody will most likely fail.