Should I leave my marital abode?

Back ground; This is my second marriage. We have no children from my current marriage. I have custody of my 4 children from my previous marriage, ages 17,17, 17 and 19. Yes a triplet. My current wife has been spending a lot of money we don’t have. This is the major reason for trying to get a divorce. It is a short time marriage, we got married in October of 2009 (1 year and 8 months)

The kids love her because she basically buys them anything they want (she is not working) while I say “we have to live within our means”, which they don’t like.
I bought a house in the Charlotte area in August last year taking $100,000 out of my 401K plan (she has brought no money into the marriage) Later I took out another $30,000 to pay of credit cards (Big mistake I realize now) So much for back ground info.

She now claims that if I want to file for divorce, that I should leave the house and that she will take care of the kids as this is what the kids want. I know for a fact that one child (of the triplet) wants to stay with me, and another child most likely would want to stay with me. My daughter on the other hand and the 19 year old (a fulltime student) want to go with her. The later child shouldn’t matter as he is considered an adult, am I correct? My question; does she have any rights to my other 3 children and can she force me to leave our marital abode?

If I calculate assets what I had before our marriage she would get about $12.000, but I could /would argue that the assets came from me cashing in my retirement money (from before we got married) can I do this? If I can do this then she owes me about $25.000 because of loans we had to take out.

What kind of support could she file for?

Your 19 year old is an adult and can live where she wishes. Your current wife has no legal right to your other 3 children. She cannot force you to leave your home. She is not entitled to any property (including retirement ) that you had prior to the marriage.