As I posted yesterday, my boyfriend and I have very recently found out that we are having a baby! We are both legally separated. Our child will obviously be born post divorce for us both. After speaking with a friend, whom referred me to your website, I have done a little digging and have some questions.
Will my STBX held accountable or hold ANY rights to this child?
Will his STBX have ANY rights to knowledge of this child?
Is there something we are able to do now to insure my boyfriend’s child will be present when baby is born? Are we able to request extra time for bonding?
His divorce is full of acrimony and there is a severe lack of communication. He wants to be happy about this, however is fearful it will be held against him in court.
Again, thank you for any advice you have to offer.
If the child is born ten lunar months after your physical separation the child will not be presumed to be the child of your ex, and he will not have any rights or responsibilities related to the child.
As for the father’s other child’s presence at the birth, if the birth does not fall within the normal custodial time your boyfriend has, he would have to request additional time, by making a motion with the court. If the court finds that it is in the child’s best interest to be present extra time will be awarded.
Oh, c’mon, just ask for the time for such a wonderful event. Moms just know when it’s right to say okay. Dads just shouldn’t be so stubborn.
As a mom in a very similar situation, I find it best to be honest with both STBX’s. The way to happiness is honesty, and the best way to raise a child is through honesty and communication. Your boyfriend should be allowed to be happy about this, and you will probably find that getting it off his chest and being open and honest about it will allow him to be happy, rather than full of anxiety.
What you should probably be worried about is the current children, how will this effect them, will they be full of animosity later on…you and your boyfriend should probably be more worried about your children and how to raise them, not what the STBX’s will be feeling.
Last but not least, maybe your BF and his STBX should take some classes on how to parent through a divorce…if there is no communication it can be devastating and potentially harmful to their child.
Not all moms know when it’s right to say yes. Ours not only said no, but hell no. She didn’t let the child attend our wedding either.