If I were you, I would wait for the 2 weeks for the court date. He can threaten all he likes, but he will be mandated to pay child support. If your lawyer can get an elevated deviation, then so be it. Alimony will be based on what the judge feels is fair.

Realize that once the judgement is handed down, you will have to live with it–even if you come up short. You may have to change your lifestyle and live within your means of income. You can’t expect to maintain your current lifestyle when a separation happens whether adultry is involved or not. You may find that a part-time job is in your future.

Even though you’re not working, you are still liable for 1/2 debt and 1/2 assets (I BELIEVE), so keep that in mind too. Not helping pay for college would only hurt his kids, but it is not mandatory as you stated.

Settlement negotiations are not admissible in court, neither party can introduce evidence of settlement terms that were discussed prior to the hearing.

Helena M. Nevicosi
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm

4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.256.1665 direct fax

10925 David Taylor Drive, Suite 100
Charlotte, North Carolina 28262
704.644.2831 main voice
704.307.4595 main fax

1829 East Franklin Street, Bldg 600
Chapel Hill, NC 27514
919.321.0780 main phone
919.787.6668 main fax


The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.

My husband and I went to litigation for PSS and go in 2 weeks for child support and custody. Husband makes in excess of 350K so we are asking for an upward deviation in CS due to standard of living and children’s expenses. Husband wants to settle out of court now but his offer is not acceptable and he will not budge. I feel I would get a fair verdict from the judge. Some household bills that he was paying he now stopped, saying “if you don’t settle with me I’ll won’t pay” He told the judge and had it in his financial affadavit that he was setting aside 1500 per month for educational expenses which he said was for son’s college tuition. Now he is saying"if you don’t settle with me, I will not pay for our son to go to college", which starts in the fall. I know he is not legally obligated for college costs.

My question, if this does go to litigation, do I inform the judge how he was trying to force me into a settlement. I don’t want to sound whiny. I have been a stay at home mom, so I do need these funds to run the house and take care of the children (we have 4 children). And will have 4 childen to send to college.

Husband did commit adultery and confessed it on the stand. It is just hard to know what financial amount to settle for when I don’ t know what the judge will say.