If I were you, I would wait for the 2 weeks for the court date. He can threaten all he likes, but he will be mandated to pay child support. If your lawyer can get an elevated deviation, then so be it. Alimony will be based on what the judge feels is fair.
Realize that once the judgement is handed down, you will have to live with it–even if you come up short. You may have to change your lifestyle and live within your means of income. You can’t expect to maintain your current lifestyle when a separation happens whether adultry is involved or not. You may find that a part-time job is in your future.
Even though you’re not working, you are still liable for 1/2 debt and 1/2 assets (I BELIEVE), so keep that in mind too. Not helping pay for college would only hurt his kids, but it is not mandatory as you stated.