There is no set amount of time that will result in an “automatic divorce.” Spouses can stay separated indefinitely and never actually file for divorce. If you are ready to be legally divorced, you need to take action to file for divorce. You can either hire an attorney, or you may file yourself. Our website provides a wealth of information regarding about how to do this process on your own. Visit http://www.rosen.com/divorce/divorcearticles/divorceguide for more information.
If your separation agreement states that you are to split any refund, if your ex-husband is keeping the full refund he is in violation of the agreement. Depending on whether your separation agreement has been incorporated in a court order or not, you will either have a cause of action for breach of contract, or he could be held in contempt for not abiding by the terms in the agreement.