Vacation safety and slandering

In the current parenting plan it is stated that when taking the children out of state you must notify the other parent and provide information on where the children will be with appropriate contact information. It does not indicate that you must get permission. With that stated I have a concern

The STBX wants the children to go to the beach with MY aunt at a beach house that has a pool. Now please note that my Aunt has had no contact with me for over a year and a half after this has started because my wife lied to her saying I was abusive to her and the children… Which I was not…

I am being asked if it is ok for the children to go on a week that is her week not mine. I have several concerns here.

  1. My Aunt is not physically capable of tending to the children in the event there is an emergency. She has heart issues and can barely move. So I am concerned with the children’s safety.

  2. My own Aunt will not communicate with me based on the lies she has been told and do not know what she may say negatively to the children who are already tired of the lies.

  3. When I say that I am not comfortable with the children going I have a feeling they will now be honest and say that my STBX wife is going to be there.

  4. The STBX indicated in the email to me that, ’ I believe it is important for the children to have a relationship with your extended family’

With this all started what can I do? Do I have to let them go? How is it correct for my actual family (Aunt) to invite my STBX if they have and they are hiding it from me? I am certain they kids will hear things and I also do not want my STBX spreading lies to any other of my family that may be there.

I understand it is her week, but I am NOT comfortable with this at all. My Aunt is consistently talking to the STBX, sends the kids birthday and Christmas gifts to her and not me. My Aunt has already passed around these lies to many people and has defaced me to many. I am tired of her slandering me…

I also do not know what I can do to get her to stop spreading lies… Is there a stop order legally that can be done. Sue her for defamation of character?

I am done, she is supposed to be my family… Please help

If the children’s mother is going to take the children on a vacation during the mother’s regularly scheduled custodial time or vacation time, then the mother can take them wherever she chooses to as long as she adheres to the notification requirements in your parenting agreement. She is not required to have your consent unless your parenting agreement specifically states that.

Perhaps you can state your dislike of the location the mother has chosen but ultimately the location is up to the mother, just like the location of your vacation time with the children is up to you.

You may have a claim for slander against your aunt if you can prove you’ve suffered damages as a result of the false statements.


Anna Ayscue

Attorney with Rosen Law Firm Cary • Chapel Hill • Durham • Raleigh • Wake Forest

Rosen Online | Unlimited confidential access to a North Carolina attorney for $199/mo - click here

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service only, a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action. The information posted on this forum is available for public viewing and is not intended to create an attorney client relationship with any individual. These answers are provided for informational purposes only, a person should consult with their own individual legal counsel before taking any action that could affect their legal rights or obligations.

Anna, thank you for your response.

Please understand that the mother will not be there. She is only dropping the children off and then going to pick them.back up. My Aunt is the one taking them on this vacation, this is why I listed the concerns that I have. I am concerned for their overall safety and well-being as it relates to what they may be subjected to.

The mother still has the right to determine where the children will be during her custodial time unless your parenting agreement states otherwise.

If you are concerned about the children’s physical safety and believe the mother is not making appropriate decisions, then you can file a motion for emergency ex parte custody along with a motion to modify custody. To qualify for an emergency ex parte custody order, you must show that the children are at a substantial risk of bodily injury.


Anna Ayscue

Attorney with Rosen Law Firm Cary • Chapel Hill • Durham • Raleigh • Wake Forest

Rosen Online | Unlimited confidential access to a North Carolina attorney for $199/mo - click here

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service only, a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action. The information posted on this forum is available for public viewing and is not intended to create an attorney client relationship with any individual. These answers are provided for informational purposes only, a person should consult with their own individual legal counsel before taking any action that could affect their legal rights or obligations.