# What age can a child decide who to live with? **URL:** \ **Category:** Divorce and Separation Answers\ **Created:** [August 30, 2012, 12:50pm UTC](https://forum.rosen.com/t/what-age-can-a-child-decide-who-to-live-with/14246 "2012-08-30T12:50:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 2\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![JustUs](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b2d939/32.png) [@JustUs](https://forum.rosen.com/u/JustUs)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2012, 12:50pm UTC](https://forum.rosen.com/t/what-age-can-a-child-decide-who-to-live-with/14246/1 "2012-08-30T12:50:32Z")
I’m concerned because my eleven year old son keeps saying he doesn’t want to go to his Dad’s. I want him to have the best possible relationship with his father because I think that the same sex parent is so important to a child. However, he keeps complaining about not wanting to go there. Mostly because there is so much criticism and pressure. I know first hand the temper that his Dad has. I don’t think he would ever physically harm anyone, I do worry about emotional damage though. I just wish my son would be excited and happy to go there. Anyway, what age can a child decide? Or what should I do? If I say anything to his Dad he thinks I am behind it, and then it gets worse for my son. It would be very hard to prove anything. Just sad for my son. ---
**Author:** ![Kathleen\_Putiri](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/57b2e6/32.png) [@Kathleen\_Putiri](https://forum.rosen.com/u/Kathleen_Putiri)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2012, 12:36pm UTC](https://forum.rosen.com/t/what-age-can-a-child-decide-who-to-live-with/14246/2 "2012-09-05T12:36:25Z")
A child never really gets to decide who he or she lives with as that is a decision left to the discretion of the judge. That said, judges will allow children to testify (usually in chambers) and tell the judge his or her wishes. This testimony goes a long way in helping the judge make a decision if the child is mature and there is good reasoning behind the wishes.