Divorce is almost always a sad thing and after so many years together it’s not uncommon to be scared of what will happen.
Your attorney is correct. This is too early to have an agreement drawn up because a lot can change in the next few months.
These few details were not in your post but you do not have to sell the home. Since he is the one that wants the separation, why is it not suggested that he be the one to leave? I’ve never quite understood that…if one spouse wants to leave the marriage then to me it only makes sense that they actually leave…
As long as your spouse makes more, you are entitled to alimony. The only thing that would affect that is marital misconduct on your part. Alimony could help you with staying in the home or the beach condo…
I agree that you would need to have the business evaluated to see what it is worth and that should be done at the time of separation. Basically, what he would be doing is buying your part of the business. It does not have to necessarily be in one lump sum if his company does not have the funds for that, it can be in installments. But this way you have a whole dollar figure that you are entitled to and know what that amount is…
This will be put into the agreement as would the division of his retirement. I do not think that you can actually get his retirement until he retires but that would be a question for the attorney.
I would say that post separation support should be included in the separation agreement. This would be a monthly amount like alimony that he would agree to pay to you. Or keep paying the mortgage if there is one, car payment whatever necessary until the assets can be divided or until you can find employment. If you stay in the home and he moves out this could be less stressful to you, but you may not want the home and that would be understandable too…
I believe that Equitable Distribution can last quite a while. If things are not agreed on, it could take a long time. You do not have to have equitable distribution finalized prior to getting divorced.
I have a cousin who received her absolute divorce over 6 years prior to her equitable distribution of the marital assets, meaning that it was a total of over 7 years after the date that they separated.
I also commend you on getting legal advice about this right away and your willingness to find employment to take care of yourself eventually. After 5 years without income, that’s difficult to do…
If your situation changes in the next couple of months, consult that attorney immediately. If/when he does get an attorney, do not sign anything that you do not agree to.
I’ll keep you in my thoughts. Good luck.