What to do..?


Unless you are 100% positive that she will be staying with him, then by refusing to take your son down there you are in contempt using nothing more than an assumption as a premise.

I know this is difficult, but you are going to spend a lot of time, money and energy trying to make sure this kind of thing doesn’t happen, and it will rob you of your own life. I’ve often felt that this clause was put in for two reasons: One, it stirs up anger and controversy over and over which is great fuel for legal battles, and two, this is a very moralistic state. I held to my end of the “no relations” clause in my separation, but I never enforced it for my ex-wife–I wanted her to move on with her life. In the divorce, we dropped the stipulation.


This is partly a rant, I am tired of the whole thing and would like it to just end:

I was told that I was not legally bound to bring my son anywhere due to nothing being signed as of yet, therefore, I can not be held in contempt for that reason. I emailed my husband last night and the GIRLFRIEND emailed me back stating that she was in fact going to be in Florida along with the two kids and there was nothing that I can do to keep her away from my son. So there goes any and all assumption.

I have my reasons for wanting this clause to be there and my attorney agreed with me which is why it is still there. If they marry, there is nothing I can do about it but while I can, I will attempt to protect my son from this type of person. Yes, this clause is used out of anger, etc, but there is a reason that it is there to be used in the first place.

My son is an impressionable 5 year old and I dont want him coming home right now wanting to know why daddy is sleeping with another woman nor do I really want to have to explain to him why daddy has another child who is 10 months old. I am answering questions right and left as it is concerning issues that come from a feeling of abandonment (that is what a school psychologist said): his dad calling him once a week, if he is lucky to get even that; when he does call, he is occupied elsewhere and “has to go” in less than 10 minutes; in 19 months, my son has seen his dad 2 times (once on my sons birthday in February when my mother in law brought him to my house and once because I arranged it completely). My son loves his dad tremendously and I go out of my way to keep that going but it is getting to the point where I am spending a lot of my own time, energy and MONEY to keep that going when my husband clears $85k a year and can afford to see his son whenever he wants but is slipping into the old “out of sight” mentality.

I beleive the old addage that one person’s trash is another person’s treasure, she can have him. He cheated on me with her and then cheated on her while she was in jail. I don’t know if he is having a mid-life crisis early or what but he use to be an awesome human being but now even his friends and BROTHER wonder what is going on.

At this point, if he signs the papers prior to December 24th, she can not be at that house while my son is there. So I am waiting to find out what to do in that case because it will happen whether the papers are signed or not.


If nothing has been signed then you’re absolutely right, you don’t have to do a thing. Moreover, since “girlfriend” is stepping far out of bounds, I would refuse to bring him anywhere. If he wants to see him so badly, scrape up the money for a plane ticket. Word of caution: If you don’t have a custody order yet, don’t let your son out of your sight until you do. And I apologize, while I could not possibly know your situation, it is absolutely abhorrent that he cannot spend more time with your son. I applaud your strength.


Don’t take the child if you don’t think the other parent will provide a healthy situation. Always use your best judgment.

Good luck.

Lee S. Rosen
Board Certified Family Law Specialist
The Rosen Law Firm
4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.


Hi BillysMom
I can feel your pain and to get even and to tell you the truth I wish the B!@#$h would rot in hell for this and she should this is wrong not just for you but for your son most of all.
I hope this does make you mad but did he cheat on you with her? If so sue then B!@#h and take for all she has. I am doing the same thing but a little different then yours but still all the same in my eye (children are involved) and it sucks.
You neeed to move on and to live life trust me not easy to say but with time you will just like I did and I feel great about this I am not wrong she is wrong on what she did and I feel that inside me and the children feel the same about this. In time things will be great and life will go on that is not just for me but you aswell.
Get on with life and be happy life is to short I know its hard but still live on and you will see, I have been there and done it long story but true.
I hope this will help you out
Bod Bless you
Bye for now


My husband and I have reached an agreement and the divorce papers have been drawn up. The papers are with his lawyer and have been sent to him for signing then to me, etc. Within these papers is the “No Relation” clause which states that no one who is a non relation of my son’s can be spending the night at the same location while he is there (in layman’s terms). I just found out that my husband, the girl I am divorcing him because of and the two children will be in Florida during Christmas. My son was also suppose to be there during that time.

My question is this: If my husband does not sign those papers prior to the date that my son is to be down there, is there anything that I can do to prevent this “meeting”? The only reason why I am bringing him down there in the first place is because it is in the divorce papers that he be with his dad every other Christmas. We have been following everything that was outlined in the papers since September 15th but were stumped on one issue that has since been ironed out.

What can I do other than eat the airline tickets and just not take him?