What to do

North Carolina Divorce Law Divorce and Separation Answers
1

Here’s my problem, I hope someone can give me some advice! Please?

Ok first I know Mom is on this forum personally I do not care if she reads this as I am fed up with the antics, but I need some answers.

  1. My husband and I split because of Mom’s antics, IE false reports to Child Protective Services. Sheriff’s Department. Phone Harassment, threats to my child, constant questioning of her children, attempted Parental Allienation ect. She admitted to the CPS’s worker that she was jealous of me and did not want me around the children
    Do I have an AA claim against her, seeing as her harassment and behavior caused our marriage to end? We felt we could no longer put the children through this and the medical damage it was doing to me.

  2. I have since started babysitting for my stbx’s children, once again Mom has called her county CPS over voluntary MRDD services and used my address and phone number as a contact for Dad. Knowing that we do not live together and I am only babysitting. She also sent the Sheriff’s Department to my neighbors to serve Dad with contempt of Court over voluntary MRDD services. The judge dismissed it, saying the services were not court ordered and a voluntary service. Our county’s CPS office investigated, found no wrong doing on our part and that the services were voluntary. They voiced concerns about Mom to her local CPS and where the initial report was made. Her local CPS has since called me again on her report and the worker screamed at me over the phone that I had to except the services and had no choice. I am not a custodian, I am babysitting, I have no right to say yes to MRDD services or even sign papers.
    These services are voluntary, Mom initiated them and even though both parents have equal physical and legal custody she never included Dad in the MRDD services process, he signed nothing. What can I do to make them leave me alone and understand I have nothing to do with it?

  3. Because of Mom’s continued choice of using my address and phone number for CPS and the Sheriff’s department, myself and my neighbors have suffered many visits by each. At the same time my neighbors complained to my landlord and he evicted me for my neighbors being harassed and annoyed, which I found he can do.
    Now I have to move my child again(twice in 2 years) because of her harassment. My question is, since she is using these agencies to falsely harass me, and even though I babysit for the children, does my address and phone number still have to be provided to her, or can I request the courts to protect me from further harassment and bar her from knowing my information? Will dad have to take her to court for contempt and modify the order not to include babysitter information? I want to continue watching my step daughters, I love them dearly and would rather they be here with me while Dad works swing shifts then anywhere else. At least then I know for sure they won’t be mistreated by someone who doesn’t know them or how to talk to them. Plus childcare for shifts like his is few and far between and without me, he wouldn’t be able to keep joint custody, Mom knows this.

I just don’t know where to turn anymore.

2

Oh I forgot to add, the MRDD services that this is all over, is what I consider babysitting. It is the respite care, they feed, bathe and play with the child. Things I do while they’re here anyway and Dad does then they’re with him.

And the concerns voiced to the other county’s CPS was Mom’s refusal to provide an adequate wheelchair, because the stroller provided will cause skin break down and physical harm, her shortness with the MRDD child and the children’s conversation with our local CPS over Mom’s behaviors. These legitatmate complaints have been ignored by mom’s county.

3

I feel for you. I don’t know the answers to all your questions but when dealing with child protection, if the services are not required by law or court order, they cannot force you to take them! It’s pushing the line on your constitutional rights, as it was explained to me when we were annoyed endlessly my my hubby’s ex-wife. An attorney told me this, the constitution of the United States protects every parents right to be free to the care custody and control of their children without government interference EXCEPT under circumstances that the child’s LIFE and SAFETY is endangered… Children services attemts to force you into OPTIONAL services seems to be a violation of that. I suggest you get an attorney who specializes in that area.
IMHO the circumstances under which you had to move and her using your info. I would think a judge would be willing to protect you and your child if you can show proof of every thing your saying. She might even be reprimanded depending on the judge. You might even be able to sue her for your moving expenses if your landlord agrees to testify. Your neighbors may also be able to sue her for it?!?!?
This is one of those situations that I posted about and I feel for you and your biological child because she is not just hurting her children she is hurting yours also and that is wrong in ever way. My other advice to you take yourself and your child to a qualified counselor who can teach you how to not let the stress get to you and how to help your child understand and cope with it. I would also suggest to your stbx to place his children into counseling they will be taught how to cope the counselor could be a god send if your x ever decides to modify custody. I also feel for your step children and commend you for still wanting to be there FOR THEM! It is ADMIRABLE to say the least! Good luck to you and the kids!

4

Alienation of affection is a third party claim in which allows a spouse to sue a third party for breaking up the marriage. The claim does not pertain to children, and cannot be maintained against the spouse.
I am not really clear as to what is going on in the situation you describe in your second and third paragraph. I would recommend that you remove yourself from the situation and discontinue babysitting for these children, as it seems the harassment will continue for so long as you are involved.